Archives for March 2024

The first post read, “Well. Let’s see how this goes. Converts welcome!”

Kids say the darndest things… and also sometimes they say the creepiest things, too. So Redditor u/JrlTan asked, “Parents of Reddit, what is the scariest thing your child said to you or to someone?” Here’s how people responded, and I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry about some of these. 1. “When my now 13-year-old daughter was three years old, she told me that she was ‘borned by the beach.’ When I explained that she was, in fact, born in a hospital and I distinctly remember being there, she said, ‘No, Momma. I was borned before, to my momma before you.'” 3. “Will the man in the attic come with us when we move?” 4. “Not my kid, thankfully, but a kid I babysat as a young teenager. I had just put him in bed for the night, and about 10 minutes later, he came out and told me, ‘I can’t sleep. My brother won’t leave me alone.’ His brother had died years earlier as a baby. I never babysat for that family again!” —Anonymous 5. “When my eldest son was almost two, he would occasionally cry out at night. Sometimes he would be hysterical and he would say ‘The mean old lady was scaring him.’ After this had happened several times, I was holding him one night trying to soothe him and I said, ‘That old lady better watch out or she’ll have to deal with me.’ He stopped crying suddenly and leaned back from my shoulder so he could look me dead in the face. He said, ‘She’s not afraid of you, Mommy.’ This was 23 years ago, and I still get goosebumps thinking about it.” 6. “When my baby was small, I remember telling him about how he used to be in my belly. He stopped me and said, ‘Oh yeah, I remember that, it was dark in there.’ Excuse me, what?!” 7. “I cut my foot on a piece of broken glass, and my kid (who was five at the time) said, ‘Don’t clean it up! I can use your blood for painting!'” 8. “I was putting my two-year-old niece to bed while babysitting one night when she looked over my shoulder and said, ‘Who’s that?’ I looked behind me and asked, ‘Who?’ She responded, ‘The man behind you.’ He was with you in the kitchen, too.’ We were the only ones in the house. I spent the rest of the evening in the living room on the one chair with its back to the wall, glancing around nervously.” 9. “My nephew was in the hospital for a year after he was born. He’s always been the quiet one. I was sleeping over one night when he was around 10 years old, and he came downstairs. He laid on the other end of the couch next to me and said, ‘There are dead people in the house.’ He said it so calmly and matter-of-factly. Then, he went back upstairs and went to bed.” 10. “When my daughter was three, she came home from preschool one day, and her demeanor changed the minute we came home. She became very withdrawn and looked very upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, ‘The angel on the roof is angry with us.’ 😳” 11. “When my brother was four, he said to my mom, ‘You should go see Granddad at the hospital because his head hurts from the car crash.’ My mum told him that Granddad was fine and he didn’t even drive. 15 minutes later, the phone rang. It was my nan telling Mum that Granddad was in the hospital after his taxi cab got into a crash.” 12. “My adorably innocent three-year-old once lovingly told me, ‘Mommy, when you die, I’m going to keep your body so I can pet your hair.’ He was petting my hair at that very moment…” 13. “My friends were across the country visiting family with their kid, and they were out for a drive. The four-year-old pointed down an old, overgrown dirt road and said, ‘That’s where I used to go to school.’ My friend mentioned the comment to her brother the next day when they drove by, and he told her there actually was an old schoolhouse there from the 1800s.” 14. “According to my mother, when my sister was a baby, she would stop playing with her toys and randomly look at the wall and laugh. She would also move her head slowly, like she was watching someone move across the room carefully.” 15. “I nannied for a little boy when he was two to four years old, and he had lots of creepy little stories. The one I remember most went something like this: ‘Before mama was my mama, I had a different mama. We went for a walk on the water. I went through the water, and I died!’ We live in the Pacific Northwest, and he had no concept of being able to walk on frozen water. That one freaked me and his mama out big time.” 16. “A few months after my mom passed, my daughter was sitting in the TV room. She looked down the hall, and I could tell something had caught her eye. She got up and said, ‘Yaya is in her room,’ walked into my mom’s room, and shut the door. I could hear my daughter talking and laughing through the door. I was equally scared and hopeful that I might hear my mom too, but I didn’t.” 17. “One night while tucking my kids in, my then-four-year-old said, ‘Mummy, when you die, I’m going to keep your bones.’ My then-six-year-old then added, “Ooh! We could make a wind chime!” It was the creepiest and also the sweetest thing my kids have said to me.” 18. “A few weeks after my son turned two, he said to me, ‘Look, the smoke dissipates.’ This is not a word we use in our daily vernacular, so I asked him what it means. ‘It disappears,’ he said. I was impressed and asked him where he learned that word. He replied, ‘When I was an adult.’ I laughed and asked when he was an adult. Without missing a beat, he answered, ‘Before I was born.'” 19. “Driving by a cemetery when my kid was about three years old, he said, ‘Who are all the people standing around there?’ There was no one standing anywhere in the cemetery that I could see.” 20. “One night before bed, my four-year-old daughter asked if she could still see with her hands while holding them if she took out her eyeballs. I was speechless and told her we should not take out our eyeballs. That was not a sentence I was ever prepared to have to say.” 21. “One time, my son woke me up in the dead of my sleep at 2 a.m. and said, ‘They are coming,’ while giving me that creepy freaking stare. Turns out he was also fully asleep.” 22. “My five-year-old has talked about his ‘first family’ for years. He will randomly be doing something, which must trigger a memory of them. He’s always been consistent in his story. He says one day, he got sick and then came to live with us. He talks less about them the older he gets, but it’s always fascinating to me when he brings them up.” —mabd

Trevor Noah was Team T. Swift at this year’s Grammys. The former “Daily Show” host had no problem charming the star-studded audience as he returned to host music’s biggest night for the fourth year in a row. During his opening monologue, Noah taunted people who have a problem with Taylor Swift and her now-frequent on-screen cameos during Travis Kelce’s games with the Kansas City Chiefs. Joking about her impact, Noah said, “By the way, I think it’s so unfair how NFL fans have been complaining about the cameras cutting to Taylor Swift. Right? Like she’s controlling the cameras at the games. Just let her live.” Then, he made a promise, telling viewers, “In fact, on behalf of Taylor, I’m going to give her a break. Every time Taylor Swift is mentioned, I’m going to cut to someone who played football. That’s what I will do.” Turning to former NFL linebacker-turned-actor Terry Crews, he asked, “Do you work for the CIA, Terry? I can read lips, watch what you say.” Last week, conservative media world came unglued over an absurd conspiracy theory that claims the Swift-Kelce romance is part of a scheme to re-elect President Joe Biden. Right… See all the best red carpet looks here: