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Archives for May 2019

Father’s Day cards: Instead of saying ‘I love you, Dad,’ society tells us to make a fart joke

May 21, 2019 by humorouz Leave a Comment

In the blue-toned paper jungle that is the Father’s Day row of the Target greeting-card section, I am presented with a dilemma: Do I want to tell my dad that he’s the world’s largest source of natural gas, or that he has “daditude,”a phrase that seems to mean he is “a guy who may not know what the plan is”?

It’s hard to decide. How best to insult my dad with one of these ludicrously gendered cards?

Store displays, ads, and gift guides for Father’s Day always seem to be an explosion of manliness. The selection gives the impression that it’s necessary for children across America to reaffirm their fathers’ masculinity through cards that remind him he likes stereotypically male things like steak, tools, and big trucks. Every year, I wonder why nearly all of them say things like “He doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does… . Just kidding, he always drinks beer.”

Family Photo / Justine McDaniel

The reporter and her father in 1991.

The few that do have a message meant to be heartfelt are so overwrought that they’re equally comical. Why can’t I just get a simple “You’re awesome, Dad, thanks for everything!”?

When we dumb down our dads to “world’s number-one farter,” we reduce fatherhood to something lessmeaningful than it is — and we reinforce tired gender stereotypes that give men two choices: Be macho and manly or be inept and clueless.

Yes, Dad may like to grill. He may like to golf or eat bacon or go to the hardware store. I love dads who love those things — and I’m glad for their kids, who probably don’t stress at all about card-buying. But fathers also like to do other things, many of which define their worth as parents far more. (And let’s not forget that Mom might be the grilling, golfing, bacon-eater of the family.)

My dad, like many, can’t be defined by many of the stereotypical activities that retailers use to celebrate Father’s Day. He doesn’t want the portable air compressor for car tires that Bed Bath & Beyond told me was a “POP-ular pick for his big day,” and he’s not so hot on barware accessories, either, Pier 1.

The way dads are portrayed in Father’s Day displays isn’t frustrating only because I can’t find a card that wouldn’t make my parents wonder if I know them at all. It’s about what the cards and gifts concocted by retailers represent. Lurking between the lines of all these stereotypes is one other deeply ingrained, sexist idea about men: that they shouldn’t show emotion. And that’s precisely why Hallmark won’t let us express emotion about them. Instead of saying, “I love you, Dad,” society tells us to make a fart joke.

The cards and gift guides fit into the bigger picture of what’s wrong with gender roles in this country. If we can’t imagine that fathers might have more interests beyond watching the game, how are our sons going to imagine that they can be artists, teachers, or nurses? If we characterize our dads simply as dudes who can’t follow directions and have lower standards than moms, how are our daughters going to have equal marriages? And how can we create a world that’s inclusive of same-sex couples and transgender or gender-nonconforming parents when retailers aren’t able to capture the spirit of a holiday without falling back on sexist, gendered tropes?

My dad didn’t teach me how to fish, but he taught me to love music, taking me to piano lessons every week for 13 years. He showed me the constellations and planets in the night sky; taught me about the beach, the redwoods, and the mountains. We sat in the coffeehouse with backgammon and played old Microsoft DOS games on the computer. He fostered my pursuit of the arts, from ballet to acting to writing.

Retired, he was the stay-at-home parent. He was the one who was waiting for me when I got out of school each day. He chaperoned every school field trip. He made lunches for me and my mom every day. My dad instilled in me a love for hiking and camping, a passion for grocery shopping, and the importance of finding meaningful work.

No dad can be summed up by one gift or card. But it would be cool if we as a society could acknowledge dads in other ways. Old perceptions of gender roles are dying, and the gift industry should evolve along with the rest of us.

Happy Father’s Day, Dad. Instead of an all-in-one bottle opener-flask-grill spatula-fishing rod combo, I got you this column. I love you.

Justine McDaniel is a staff writer for the Inquirer and Daily News. She loves sending and receiving greeting cards even though buying them can be a chore.

June 15, 2018 — 3:28 PM EDT

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Filed Under: Articles - World

Daughter Asks Mom For A Bread Recipe, Gets Such Hilarious Instructions She Decides To Share It On The Internet

May 19, 2019 by humorouz Leave a Comment

Daughter Asks Mom For A Bread Recipe, Gets Such Hilarious Instructions She Decides To Share It On The Internet

Recipes. Useful things aren’t they? Exact measures and ingredients give a consistent result, often based on years of experience for the tastiest possible dish.

Try telling that to this Newfoundland mom. She knows that consistency is overrated, she prefers the old fashioned methods, passed down through the generations. These methods need you to feel the bake, no fancy schmancy written directions and pictures, this is pure judgement based on the innate knowledge of the ancestors!

Watching this kind of old-school knowledge getting passed on over Twitter, folksy Newfoundland colloquialisms aplenty included, is pretty hilarious. Twitter user Krista D. Ball decided to share her conversation with Newfoundland mom for us all to see, based on the phone call they had. Could you bake a successful homemade bread from this description?

By the end it’s pretty clear that this is something that needs to be done in person, this kind of knowledge based on feeling and judgement just does not translate well over the phone. It does make for entertaining reading however. Scroll down below to check out the convo, read it out in your head in your best ‘newfie’ accent!

This is Krista Ball, she wanted to learn how to make “Homemade bread”, something she grew up with in Newfoundland

Apparently, it is a real delicacy and none of the kids know how to make it anymore

So she decided to ask her mom for a recipe

Here’s what she got

People could relate only too well to this kind of situation

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Filed Under: Articles - World

One of Little Big Town’s Tour Trailers Was Stolen, but the Joke Is on the Thieves

May 17, 2019 by humorouz Leave a Comment

Little Big Town revealed they were the victims of a crime earlier this week after discovering that one of their trailers disappeared from under their

Filed Under: Articles - World

Hilarious T-Rex Spices Up Texas House Listing, Helps Realtor Sell Home

May 17, 2019 by humorouz Leave a Comment

From mowing the lawn to helping sell houses, this T-rex does it all.

Filed Under: Articles - World

This Guy Is Photoshopping Himself With Bollywood Celebs, And The Results Are Hilarious

May 15, 2019 by humorouz Leave a Comment

Everyone wants to be part of the most happening circle and in India it is Bollywood. From cycling down the streets of Los Angeles to honeymooning in Switzerland, everything seems to be so glamorous.

Ever dreamed stand in front of mirror and get yourself paired alongside Priyanka Chopra, or any Bollywood beauties? Well this guy named “Unseen Friend” on Instagram is living his dreams of being with any B-Town celebrity he wants to. The admin of this Instagram handles is self-proclaimed Bollywood favourite friend. The guy posts hilarious Photoshop photos of himself with Bollywood celebrities.

Checkout the Photoshop skills of this clever guy and we bet you will appreciate his skills:

1. Rehnaa Hai Tere Ghar Mein.

2. Here’s my cover shoot with Jacqueline Fernandez.

3. Gearing up for Olympic Games.

4. Birthday + Pre Diwali Celebrations.

5. Main vrat kab todunga? Mera Chand kab aayega?

6. A day full of conversations, gossips and more.

7. On the way to Sarojini Nagar Market.

8. This was last month after a game of Ludo.

9. Friends that eat together, workout together, swim together… Stay together.

10. Thanks Ranveer Singh & Deepika Padukone for believing in me and letting me do all the wedding rituals.

11. Thanks Priyanka Chopra for taking care of me when I was feeling low.

12. Movie date with these two.

13. Pati Patni aur Woh.

14. Arre bhai bhai bhai.

15. So Sachin Tendulkar made me wear a helmet inside the room also.

16. The moment we saw the value of Bitcoin falling to 50% last night.

17. Teasing Faizal ki Amma with my Family Pack.

18. Now you know who’s her personal stylist.

19. Shikhar Dhawan is my that annoying friend who takes too many selfies.

20. The furious Auto wala.

21. Waiting for our Food like.

22. Shahid Kapoor is one lazy ass employee. Instead of finishing the assigned work, he was busy playing dress up games.

23. Keeping up with the Starkidashians!

24. Married , In a Relationship and the Forever Unseen.. I mean Forever Single.

25. Candid shot.

26. Kabhi kabhi lagta hai apun har jagah hota hai.

27. Nick Jonas who?

28. Throwback to Shah Rukh Khan’s birthday last November.

29. Fixing Arijit Singh’s mic. Hope it’s okay now!

30. Don’t you hate it when you see someone else taking a picture with your car?

31. Sushant Singh Rajput, will you please pose somewhere else?? Let me sleep ya.

32. December 20, 2038 : Taimur huye ek aur saal bade, Saifeena ne ki swimming ki planning.

33. Shopping done for the Biggest Wedding of the Year. Heading to Italy tomorrow with my loves.

Follow Unseen Friend on Instagram for more such updates

Filed Under: Articles - World

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