Humorouz

President Duterte on the jet ski promise: It takes hours to get there by jet ski. I would pass out in the middle of the ocean. They say the waves there are as big as the ocean. PHOTO/Screenshot  from government TV

MANILA, Philippines — President Rodrigo Duterte admitted on Monday that his 2016 pledge to ride a jet ski to the Spratly Islands and plant a Philippine flag there was a “pure campaign joke,” calling those who believed him “stupid.”

“Panahon ‘yan sa kampanya ‘yan. At saka ‘yung biro na ‘yun, ‘yung bravado ko, it was a pure campaign joke at kung naniniwala kayo sa kabila, I would say you are really stupid,” he said in his regular public address on Monday.

(That was during election season. And then there was that joke, my bravado, which was purely political in nature, and if you believe it, I would say you are really stupid.)

He said he had planned to go through with his promise, even ended up buying a second-hand jet ski but found it to be logistically impossible as he said he would run out of gasoline and could be overwhelmed by waves.

“Nagplano ako niyan. Bumili ako ng jet ski, ang kaya ko second hand lang. So nag order ako ng piyesa, hanggang ngayon hindi pa dumating since then. Walang dumating eh wala akong magawa,” he said.

(I planned for that. I bought a second-hand jet ski but the spare parts I have ordered have not yet arrived. I couldn’t do anything.)

“Sige, maghanap ka ng tao dito magpunta ng jet ski. Aabot pa ng ilang oras, I would conk out in the middle of the sea. Sabi nila, ang alon pala diyan, kasinglaki ng dagat,” Duterte added.

(Find someone who will go there by jet ski. It would take hours. I would conk out in the middle of the sea. They said the waves there are as big as the sea.)

He also said that he was discouraged by his fear of drowning because he does not know how to swim in the event the jet ski capsizes due to the massive waves.

“Sabi ko, mahirap ito. Sabihin ko na lang balang araw na inabot ako ng takot. Wala akong magawa. Takot akong mamatay. Alam ba ninyo na hindi ako marunong maglangoy? Eh kung matumba yang yawa na ‘yan, magkakapa kapa na ako. By this time, I would’ve been the late Rodrigo Duterte,” he continued.

(I said, this is difficult. I would say that fear got to me. I couldn’t do anything. I am scared to die. Do you know I cannot swim? What if the jet ski capsizes? By this time, I would’ve been the late Rodrigo Duterte.)

Critics have recalled Duterte’s 2016 promise after calling the Philippines’ victory over China at the Permanent Court of Arbitration in The Hague is just a “piece of paper” that can be thrown away.

He also claimed he never promised during his campaign that he would retake the West Philippine Sea.

Subscribe to INQUIRER PLUS to get access to The Philippine Daily Inquirer & other 70+ titles, share up to 5 gadgets, listen to the news, download as early as 4am & share articles on social media. Call 896 6000.

Mo Salah reminded his teammate, Thiago Alcantara, that he was a winger after the Spaniard referred to him as a ‘striker’ in their post-match interview.

Here’s one actress’s take on alopecia — after having dealt with it for years now — and just how offensive Chris Rock’s joke about Jada actually was.

Entrepreneurs require more than just money, which is why we aim to empower you, as well as act as a catalyst for value creation.

EXCLUSIVE: After adapting Lin Manuel-Miranda’s In the Heights for Warner Bros, Jon M. Chu has his sights set on adapting one of Broadway’s biggest hits. Sources tell Deadline that Chu will direct Universal’s Wicked, the feature-film adaptation of the record-breaking musical phenomenon that is in its 17th smash-hit year on Broadway.

The three-time Tony Award-winning stage musical was adapted from Gregory Maguire’s bestselling novel by book writer Winnie Holzman and composer-lyricist Stephen Schwartz, who are also collaborating on the screenplay adaptation. Marc Platt will produce for his Universal-based Marc Platt Productions. Wicked is produced on Broadway by Universal Stage Productions, Platt, the Araca Group, Jon B. Platt and David Stone.

Related Story

Timing is everything and in this situation it worked out nicely for both parties. Last fall, Billy Elliot director Stephen Daldry left the project after the studio was looking to move fast on the long-awaited adaptation. Around the same time, Chu had to part ways with Disney+’s new Willow series he was planning to direct due to issues with Covid-19 that kept pushing production. On top of that, Chu is expecting a baby. With Chu’s schedule open and Wicked looking for a director, the timing worked out for both sides.

With a national tour and multiple international productions, the stage musical has been seen by over 60 million people worldwide, making it one of the most successful theatrical ventures of all time. The winner of over 100 international awards including Grammys and three Tony Awards, Wicked has been performed in over 100 cities in 16 countries around the world (U.S., Canada, the UK, Ireland, Japan, Germany, Holland, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, South Korea, The Philippines, Mexico, Brazil, Switzerland, and China) and has been translated into six languages: Japanese, German, Dutch, Spanish, Korean and Portuguese.

Senior EVP Production Erik Baiers and director of development Lexi Barta will oversee the project on behalf of Universal .

Besides adapting In the Heights, which will premiere in theaters and on HBO Max later this year, Chu directed the box office smash Crazy Rich Asians for Warner Bros. Chu is repped by UTA, Artists First Inc and Goodman, Genow, Schenkman, Smelkinson & Christopher, LLP.