Humorouz

Depuis sa création, le cinéma n’est globalement pas particulièrement friand de films qui se terminent mal. Dans l’industrie Hollywoodienne, gardienne du temple du Happy End et authentique marchande de bonne morale, c’est plus que jamais vrai. Qu’importe si le personnage d’un film souffre ou fait souffrir le martyr à son entourage, fait des choses trash ou ultra violentes, etc…In Fine, l’important, c’est que la morale soit sauve. Ce n’est d’ailleurs pas tout à fait un hasard si les fins pessimistes de certains films se retrouvent souvent mises de côté sur le banc de montage après une mauvaise projection test, offertes en bonus en DVD et autres Blu-ray.

Par films qui se terminent mal, il faut aussi entendre ces œuvres où les méchants gagnent à la fin, faisant voler en éclat le diktat du Happy Ending. Et bon sang que ca fait du bien ! On vous propose donc une petite sélection de films sur cette thématique saupoudrée d’un zeste de fins pessimistes, en tout cas dérangeantes. Une sélection qui n’a évidemment pas pour but d’être exhaustive.

Ah une dernière chose ! Vu la nature d’un tel sujet, garanti évidemment 100% Spoil, autant vous dire que si vous n’avez pas vu les œuvres évoquées dans le dossier, passez dès maintenant votre chemin. Vous voilà prévenus !!!

Dans Memento, vous vous êtes sûrement pris d’affection pour ce pauvre bougre de Leonard Shelby, souffrant d’une amnésie qui le prive des souvenirs de la mémoire immédiate, l’obligeant à se tatouer régulièrement pour ne rien oublier des indices glanés ça et là. Sa quête est plutôt noble : trouver le meurtrier de sa femme.

Alors, en quoi Leonard est-il mauvais ? Et bien il utilise justement son handicap largement à son avantage, se (re)créant dans son esprit un “jeu” dans lequel il peut avoir la satisfaction de détruire l’homme qu’il pense être le meurtrier de sa femme. Il finit par liquider son ami Teddy, en sachant fort bien qu’il n’est pas responsable de la mort de sa femme. Qu’importe au fond, puisqu’il ne se souviendra bientôt plus de rien. Le cycle de la vengeance pourra continuer à tourner, et tourner encore, sans fin….

Dans Arlington Road, les méchants sont un couple apparemment sans histoire, Oliver et Cheryl Lang, que leur voisin, Michael Faraday, soupçonne d’être des terroristes…

…et sont effectivement des terroristes en puissance. Oliver Lang réussit à piéger Michael en faisant exploser une bombe tuant des centaines de personnes…et lui fait tranquillement porter le chapeau. Un stratagème qui marche du tonnerre, ce qui permet aux Lang de continuer en toute impunité leurs méfaits, dans leur pavillon de banlieue américaine.

Pour le plaisir, la fin en images justement…

Hiver 1898, dans les somptueux paysages enneigés de l’Utah. Tigrero, un chasseur de prime vicieux, cruel et sadique, tire profit de la loi pour ramener ses victimes plutôt mortes que vivantes. “Il faut essayer de nous comprendre : c’est notre pain quotidien” dit-il à une veuve éplorée; “le ciel aura pitié de toi. Un mari, ca se remplace !”

Pour Tigrero et ses complices, tout le monde y passe, même les pauvres malheureux affamés réfugiés dans les montagnes. Il tue même Silence, le justicier muet engagé par une veuve, dans un duel final totalement déloyal. Une fin d’un pessimisme atroce, qui plus est rare dans un western. Tellement pessimiste que les producteurs obligèrent Sergio Corbucci à tourner une nouvelle fin, optimiste cette fois-ci. Le réalisateur s’exécuta, mais elle était tellement (et volontairement) outrancière qu’elle fut inexploitable. Reste donc la première fin, à la fois atroce et sublime…

Dans le milieu du crime, Keyser Söze est un nom qu’il vaut mieux murmurer. Et encore…La seule mention du nom de ce tueur implacable, y compris d’enfants, suffit à terrifier même les criminels les plus endurcis…

Pour achever son oeuvre, cet ange de la mort se fait passer pour un escroc à la petite semaine, boiteux, avec une main atrophiée : Verbal Kint. Seul “rescapé” de l’extermination du groupe de braqueurs emmené par Dean Keaton, il sort du comissariat tranquillement, sans être inquiété, alors qu’il a une montagne de cadavres à son actif…Comme il le dit si bien à l’agent agent Kujan : “le coup le plus rusé que le Diable ait réussi, c’est de convaincre tout le monde qu’il n’existe pas. Et d’un coup, il s’envole”…

La fin magistrale du film, en images…

“L’Empire contre-attaque présent dans cette sélection ??? La bonne blague !” diront sans doute certains… Oui oui, L’Empire contre-attaque dans ce dossier. En l’occurence Dark Vador, l’ignoble empereur Palpatine et toutes les forces (obscures) de l’Empire.

Evidemment si on considère la fin du Retour du Jedi, donc l’ensemble de la saga, le film est hors-course. Sauf qu’à la fin de L’Empire contre-attaque, Dark Vador inflige une sévère défaite à Luke Skywalker, lui tranchant la main avec son sabre laser. Han Solo a quant à lui été capturé par Boba Fett, et cryogénisé dans un cercueil de carbonite, pour servir de tableau (et d’avertissement) accroché dans l’antre de Jabba the Hutt…Une juste revanche pour châtier les rebelles de l’Alliance qui ont osé détruire l’Etoile Noire.

Dans le chef-d’oeuvre Se7en, le méchant est donc un tueur en série, qui se fait appeler John Doe. Persuadé d’être le bras vengeur de Dieu, du moins un instrument de l’accomplissement de sa juste colère…

Son modus operandi, c’est qu’il tue ses victimes selon les sept péchés capitaux…ou plutôt cinq en fait : gourmandise, orgueil, luxure, avarice, paresse. Une fois ceci fait, il piège l’inspecteur David Mills pour accomplir son macabre but. Coupable du péché de l’envie, Doe tue la femme enceinte de Mills, la décapite, et fait expédier sa tête dans une boîte, dans un lieu où seuls se trouvent Doe, Mills et son collègue Somerset. Horrifié, Mills comprend alors que s’il tue Doe, ce dernier aura réussi son but : que Mills soit coupable du péché de la colère…Et c’est exactement ce qu’il se passe.

Se7en, et sa fin traumatisante…

Dans le film de Michael Haneke, il y a deux méchants, inséparables comme Beavis & Butt-Head, comme ils se plaisent d’ailleurs à le rappeler : Paul et Peter. Habillés en blanc, ils se présentent poliment à la porte de leurs voisins, -un couple venu passer le week end à la campagne avec leur fils- pour demander des oeufs…

Les deux se révèlent en fait être des psychopathes sadiques, qui finissent par séquestrer chez elle la petite famille et la torturer; y compris en tuant leur jeune fils sous leurs yeux d’un coup de fusil de chasse. Toute la famille y passe. Et lorsque la mère parvient à s’échapper pour aller chercher de l’aide, elle (re)tombe pour son malheur sur ses tortionnaires…Qui l’emmènent faire une promenade en bateau sur le lac au petit matin, avant de la jeter par-dessus bord et la noyer.

Ici, c’est plutôt la méchante dont il s’agit. En l’occurence l’infirmière en chef de l’hôpital psychiatrique Miss Ratched. Faussement aimable, authentique garce, sans aucune compassion pour les internés de l’institut, elle tient en réalité son service d’une main de fer..

Randolph Mac Murphy parvient à galvaniser et soulever les patients de l’institut contre elle. Mais elle reprend vite le dessus. Et si finalement Chef Bromden s’échappe, Mc Murphy finit par être lobotomisé, condamné à végéter comme un légume jusqu’à la fin de ses jours… A la grande satisfaction de l’infirmière Ratched, qui peut désormais exercer sa pleine autorité sans voir ses plans contrariés par Mc Murphy. Mais ça, c’était avant que Chef Bromden ne tue son ami en l’étouffant avec un oreiller, pour emmener son esprit avec lui…

Le méchant est bien évidemment Hannibal Lecter, ancien psychiatre, surnommé “Hannibal le cannibale” depuis qu’il est devenu anthropophage…

A la fin du Silence des agneaux, en cavale, il laisse en paix l’agent Starling, et lui dit au téléphone qu’il a un vieil ami pour le dîner…en l’occurence le directeur de la prison dans laquelle il croupissait. Dix ans plus tard, il cuisine amoureusement une partie du cerveau de Paul Krendler…qu’il lui fait manger. Et même s’il est momentanément capturé par l’agent Starling, au point de devoir se trancher la main pour s’échapper avant que les renforts arrivent, il parvient de nouveau à être en cavale. Il se paye même le luxe suprême d’initier un jeune garçon aux joies de la dégustation de cervelle humaine dans l’avion…

Ici on peut indifféremment dire les méchants, à savoir les voisins de Rosemary, y compris son mari, adorateurs de Satan; ou, mieux, Satan lui-même.

Avec les soins prodigués à son insu par le culte satanique, Rosemary finit par mettre au monde l’Antéchrist…Et bien qu’elle se soit armé d’un couteau pour le tuer, son instinct maternel finit par prendre le dessus. Après tout, Satan ou pas, il reste son fils…

Ci-dessous, la séquence finale…

Pour le tueur aux puzzles Jigsaw, tout est une question de vie ou de mort. Littéralement. Si la volonté de survivre de certaines de ses victimes est assez forte, elle les laisse en revanche atrocement mutilées ou défigurées. Le prix de la vie à payer en somme…

John Kramer, alias Jigsaw, est atteint d’un cancer du cerveau en phase terminale. Il se fait passer pour un cadavre dès le début des (més)aventures d’Adam et du docteur Lawrence Gordon…qui ne parviendront pas à se libérer à temps. Jigsaw 1 / Adam – Gordon : 0.

Ci-dessous, la fameuse fin du premier film…

Ici, le méchant est un petit truand du nom de Benny Blanco, alias “l’homme du Bronx”. Il rêve de devenir aussi légendaire dans le milieu que Carlito Brigante. “T’es qui toi pour que je me souvienne de toi ? Peut être que je me souviens même pas de la dernière fois où je me suis mouché et torché le cul” balance Carlito au jeune gangster en devenir. Mauvais calcul…

Alors que Carlito court sur le quai du train qui l’emmènera loin du milieu pourri dans lequel il vit, avec la femme qu’il aime, Benny Blanco l’a attendu devant le wagon, sur le quai…et lui tire trois balles à bout portant. Fin du rêve d’évasion pour l’ex criminel : on n’échappe finalement jamais au Milieu…

Mickey et Mallory Knox, un jeune couple embarqué dans une sanglante odyssée, tuent les gens croisant leur route, à commencer par les parents de Mallory, qui maltraitaient leur fille…

Après avoir déclenché une émeute dans une prison fédérale, ils s’échappent en compagnie de Wayne Gale, journaliste en mal de sensations fortes, présentateur vedette de American Maniacs, qui faisait un reportage – interview sur eux. Mais Mickey & Mallory n’aiment pas trop les témoins… Et quand Wayne Gale tente de plaider sa cause pour qu’ils lui laisse la vie sauve, en leur disant que le couple laisse toujours un témoin de leurs méfaits, ils lui répondent :“oui, c’est la caméra”, avant de le flinguer à bout portant à coups de fusils à pompe. Clap de fin.

A Royal Mail postwoman broke down in tears this afternoon amid a backlash over a TikTok video in which she bragged that she only waited two seconds for people to answer the door before leaving – and insisting: ‘It was a joke.’

Welsh postwoman Laura Orgill, 26, posted the original video showing herself shoving a ‘we missed you’ leaflet through someone’s letterbox just seconds after knocking on her rounds in South Wales.

The video – captioned ‘when a customer takes longer than two seconds to answer the door’ – sees uniform-clad Ms Orgill laugh as she drops off the slip, which tells a customer to collect their parcel at their local delivery office.

Her TikTok clip sparked outrage, with many people slamming the video and reporting her to her employer. The Royal Mail refused to fire its poster girl and said today that it has ‘reminded her of the need to always uphold the highest standards’.

Miss Orgill has since posted a tearful video in which she says she has been left ‘upset’ by the furore and insisting that the clip was just a joke. She told the Sun: ‘I’ve very upset about the situation. All I did was use a trending sound and think of a funny scenario that people think that posties do to match the sound and unfortunately people have taken it seriously.

‘All I’ve tried to do is use my platform to spread positivity and fun. ‘During such uncertain times which has now led to me being upset, all through the last year I used my platform for good.’

Her mother told the publication: ‘What she said was plainly a joke. It’s ridiculous. She phoned me crying and saying how upset she is and that it was only ever a joke.’I don’t think what she did was stupid. It really was just a joke.’ 

Miss Orgill, the self-proclaimed ‘TikTok postie’, has become an online star after posting videos in south Wales’ Rhondda valley, where she lives with her girlfriend. They account is her own but she appears to have the backing of bosses, who put her in a video for Royal Mail’s official careers page on Facebook.

Didn¿t expect that to happen but my last video is my final thoughts on this ##TikTokPostie

After: A Royal Mail postwoman broke down in tears this afternoon amid a backlash over a TikTok video in which she bragged that she only waited two seconds for people to answer the door before leaving – and insisting: ‘It was a joke’

Before: Welsh postwoman Laura Orgill, 26, sparked backlash with a TikTok video bragging about only waiting two seconds for people to answer the door before leaving

The video – captioned ‘when a customer takes longer than two seconds to answer the door’ – sees uniform-clad Ms Orgill laugh as she drops off the slip, which tells a customer to collect their parcel at their local delivery office

She shares videos about her work with Royal Mail to the platform, on which she has 745,000 followers. 

After she was inundated with trolls, Miss Orgill posted another video in which she said: ‘Comments like this really upset me. ‘All I do is try to upload silly videos day in day out to cheer people up because I know how much they do in these uncertain times and people like this have the audacity to try and bring me down.

‘I’m one of the only full-time workers during the pandemic – when parcels went through the roof – which was so hard. All I do while working, doing a hard day’s graft, is try and find some time to make some videos as I know how much it cheers people up.’ 

Miss Orgill has also featured as a poster girl for the delivery service in a Cosmopolitan article about the ‘unlikely celebrities of TikTok’. The postwoman was inundated with angry comments from customers fed up of having to chase their packages after her ‘we missed you’ leaflet video was shared.

One said: ‘Sacked tomorrow.’ Another said: ‘It’s been 24 hours since you posted, have you still got your job?’

One viewer said: ‘Joke’s on you, I’ve sent this to your employer.’ Another speculated: ‘I know it’s a joke but it doesn’t look good on the company, I’d never post in uniform, wouldn’t surprise me if disciplinary.’

And another said: ‘This actually really bugs me. I get to the door fast and they’ve lit got to the bottom of the drive.

Miss Orgill has since posted a tearful video in which she says she has been left ‘upset’ by the furore and insisting that the clip was just a joke

Ms Orgill has appeared in a video for Royal Mail’s official careers page on Facebook (pictured)

Ms Orgill (pictured), the self-proclaimed ‘TikTok postie’, has become an online star after posting videos in south Wales’ Rhondda valley, where she lives with her girlfriend

Royal Mail’s fails: Flag bans, suspensions and compensation 

A shocking video of a Welsh postwoman bragging about only waiting two seconds for people to answer the door before leaving is not the first time Royal Mail has sparked controversy.

Earlier this year, postman Thomas McCafferty was suspended by Royal Mail for refusing to assist Patricia Stewart, 72, when she lost her footing and fell down her icy front steps as she tried to collect a parcel he left for her.

Mr McCafferty, 51, responded to her appeals for help by telling her ‘I can’t help, I’m too knackered’ and then walked away.

Calling over his shoulder, McCafferty told Mrs Stewart to put on her slippers as he walked off, which had come loose during her fall.

The incident in the village of Bainford, Falkirk, took place during the coldest February since 1955.

It came to light after footage from a neighbour’s doorbell camera was posted on social media and gained traction worldwide.

 Meanwhile, Roo Rawal was sacked after he was filmed by a member of the public urinating in a lay-by while on duty.

He later won almost £40,000 for unfair dismissal after a tribunal heard ‘there is not a person alive’ who hadn’t at some point been forced to do the same thing.

Last month, Royal Mail banned 100,000 posties from flying England flags during Euro 2020 – as patriotic postmen blasted bosses for their ‘woke attitude.’

All flags – of England and other countries – are barred from the firm’s 45,000 vans and lorries.

Royal Mail bosses did not deny posties’ claims that mini St George’s flags and stickers are not allowed on walking postmen and women’s letter trolleys. 

They blamed safety reasons, stating it has a general policy in place at all times preventing drivers attaching items to vehicles in case they blow off and become ‘hazards’ to road users.

The organisation declined to confirm if staff could display flags inside depots. 

‘What if someone’s old. Give people a chance.’

Another said: ‘When you are wheelchair bound and can’t rush to the door and they force you to collect the package three miles away.’

Posting a second video after followers queried if she’d been sacked, Miss Orgill said: ‘My new tactic this week is no comment, so just no comment.’ 

Miss Orgill posted another video addressing the reaction she received.

She said: ‘Comments like this really upset me.

‘All I do is try to upload silly videos day in day out to cheer people up because I know how much they do in these uncertain times and people like this have the audacity to try and bring me down. 

‘I’m one of the only full-time workers during the pandemic – when parcels went through the roof – which was so hard.

‘All I do while working, doing a hard day’s graft, is try and find some time to make some videos as I know how much it cheers people up.

‘People think I make loads and have six figures in the bank, that’s not the case at all.

‘Please be mindful of what you’re commenting because it can really really affect people.’ 

Responding to Miss Orgill’s video, a Royal Mail spokesperson said: ‘Royal Mail always strives to give customers the highest levels of service. 

‘Our postmen and postwomen always go the extra mile to get customers their mail as quickly and as conveniently as possible. 

‘We have discussed this with the employee concerned, and reminded her of the need to always uphold the highest standards.’

Miss Orgill’s TikTok isn’t the first time a postie has raised eyebrows. 

Earlier this year, postman Thomas McCafferty was suspended by Royal Mail for refusing to assist Patricia Stewart, 72, when she lost her footing and fell down her icy front steps as she tried to collect a parcel he left for her.

Mr McCafferty, 51, responded to her appeals for help by telling her ‘I can’t help, I’m too knackered’ and then walked away.

Calling over his shoulder, McCafferty told Mrs Stewart to put on her slippers as he walked off, which had come loose during her fall.

The incident in the village of Bainford, Falkirk, took place during the coldest February since 1955.

It came to light after footage from a neighbour’s doorbell camera was posted on social media and gained traction worldwide.

Meanwhile, Roo Rawal was sacked after he was filmed by a member of the public urinating in a lay-by while on duty.

He later won almost £40,000 for unfair dismissal after a tribunal heard ‘there is not a person alive’ who hadn’t at some point been forced to do the same thing.

Pictured: Thomas McCafferty is identified as the Royal Mail postal worker who left Patricia Stewart, 72, in the snow after she fell while collecting a parcel because he was ‘too knackered’

Last month, Royal Mail banned 100,000 posties from flying England flags during Euro 2020 – as patriotic postmen blasted bosses for their ‘woke attitude.’

All flags – of England and other countries – are barred from the firm’s 45,000 vans and lorries.

Royal Mail bosses did not deny posties’ claims that mini St George’s flags and stickers are not allowed on walking postmen and women’s letter trolleys. 

They blamed safety reasons, stating it has a general policy in place at all times preventing drivers attaching items to vehicles in case they blow off and become ‘hazards’ to road users.

The organisation declined to confirm if staff could display flags inside depots. 

Best actor winner Will Smith (“King Richard”) apologized Sunday after slapping comedian and presenter Chris Rock at the 94th Academy Awards.

Will Smith appeared to slap presenter Chris Rock for joking about his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, at the Oscars.

During the third hour of the telecast, Rock took the stage to present the award for best documentary, and cracked a joke about Pinkett-Smith as being in “GI Jane 2” – seemingly a reference to her shaved head. (Pinkett-Smith has been open in the past about suffering from alopecia, a condition that causes hair loss.)

Smith then rushed the stage, where he struck Rock, footage of which was captured on uncensored international telecasts. It’s unclear if the move was a bit or a genuine surprise. Smith then said “Keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth” twice as the telecast glitched for American viewers.

“Wow, Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me,” Rock said.

VIA JAPANESE TELEVISION: The uncensored exchange between Will Smith and Chris Rock pic.twitter.com/j0Z184ZyXa

— Timothy Burke (@bubbaprog)

This is not the first time Rock has brought up Pinkett-Smith at the Oscars. In 2016, the last time Rock hosted the ceremony, he said: “Jada Pinkett Smith boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna’s panties – I wasn’t invited!”

Adding fuel to the fire, Scott Feinberg, a Hollywood Reporter critic in attendance at the ceremony, tweeted that “during the commercial break, Will Smith is pulled aside and comforted by Denzel Washington and Tyler Perry, who motion for him to brush it off. Will appears to wipe tears from his eyes as he sits back down with Jada, with Denzel comforting Jada and Will’s rep by his side.”

The moment became immediate fodder for memes as a confused virtual audience tried to parse what, exactly, went down.

“i know what needs to be taken to the red table …” tweeted writer Hunter Harris, referring to Pinkett-Smith’s Facebook Live talk show.

“Suddenly Chris rock shows up in the in memoriam,” tweeted writer Broti Gupta.

Some pointed to the shocked reaction of Lupita Nyong’o, seated behind the Smiths.

LUPITA IN THE BEHIND WILL SMITH IS KILLING ME #AcademyAwards pic.twitter.com/BtITt6SC4R

— matt murdocks gf ♡ (@omgmattmurdock)

Congratulations to “via Japanese television” and “via Australian television” for jointly winning this year’s Best Picture Oscar

— Michael Roston (@michaelroston)

Later in the evening, Smith won best actor for his role as Richard Williams, father to Venus and Serena, in King Richard. The 53-year-old actor praised the real inspiration for his character as “a fierce defender of his family” to whoops from the audience. “I’m being called on in my life to love people and to protect people and to be a river to my people,” he said.

“I know to do what we do you’ve got to be able to take abuse, and have people talk crazy about you and have people disrespecting you and you’ve got to smile and pretend it’s OK,” he added, seeming to confirm that the incident with Rock was not scripted but derived from genuine hurt. Smith said just before his win, Denzel Washington told him: “At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you.”

“I want to be a vessel for love,” Smith said through tears. “I want to be an ambassador of that kind of love and care and concern. I want to apologise to the Academy and all my fellow nominees.

“I look like the crazy father just like they said about Richard Williams, but love will make you do crazy things,” he continued.

He concluded his speech with thanks and hopes that the Academy “will invite me back”.

Following the ceremony, the Los Angeles Police Department confirmed in a statement that it was “aware of an incident between two individuals during the Academy Awards program. The incident involved one individual slapping another. The individual involved has declined to file a police report.”

“If the involved party desires a police report at a later date, LAPD will be available to complete an investigative report,” the statement concluded.

Shortly thereafter, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences issued their own statement: “The Academy does not condone violence of any form. Tonight we are delighted to celebrate our 94th Academy Awards winners, who deserve this moment of recognition from their peers and movie lovers around the world.”