Having a child in the family guarantees a smile at home. They copy everything they see and learn everything, but the innocent way they look at things gives them the ability to create unique moments in the process. From crazy comments to the craziest thoughts, below we share 21 children’s smart things have said that made us crack.
‘Climate Crazy Globalist’ : Sen. Barrasso Slams John Kerry & Biden
“Joe Biden and his climate crazy globalist John Kerry continue to do great damage to our country, our economy and our national security.”
No wonder Coronation Street’s lost millions of viewers – it’s gone from funny and feisty to a worthy woke bore
AS a temperamental teenager growing up in the 1970s, one thing my mother did would have me slamming doors like no other.
Her nightly settling down to the soaps, which seemed to sum up her preference for watching drama rather than causing it — the opposite of me.
ITVGemma Winter is played by Dolly-Rose Campbell – pictured with Chesney Brown (Sam Aston)[/caption]
I still only have to hear the theme tune to Emmerdale and it makes me want to commit a minor crime against property.
But in adult life, I discovered Coronation Street — and loved it.
Much of the dry northern humour — especially the exchanges between Deirdre Barlow and her mother Blanche Hunt — was worthy of my favourite playwright, Alan Bennett.
The women in general were wonderful and I sought out the ones I’d missed from ITV2’s Classic Coronation Street series. No more
I wrote here in March about the woeful way the women of Weatherfield have changed — be they brawling sex bombs or humbug-sucking acid drops — into a variety of drips, drabs and dreary doom-mongers.
As I previously noted, sexy Maria quit bed-hopping to worry about climate change, jolly delinquent Gemma spends her entire time fretting about The Quads while smokin’ siren Carla only ever seems to “pop in” to a scene to pick up her car keys — she’s way too “hot” for Corrie now.
Women are the first casualties of woke; see the #BeKind motif on girls’ clothing, never on boys’, though boys could benefit from the advice more, and the way we are encouraged to give up everything from toilets to trophies.
The Corrie girls are no longer sparky humans but interchangeable issue-havers dealing with , bullying, cyber-stalking, early , diabetes and sex-tape-shaming as a kind of tag team of trauma.
Most read in TV
war of words
Huge Loose Women feud erupts as Denise Welch slams co-star Charlene White
CUT OFF
I’m A Celeb’s Scarlette ‘doesn’t know about co-star Jonnie Irwin’s terminal cancer’
OH BABY!
I was I’m A Celeb’s most controversial campmate and faked PREGNANCY on show
Goodbye Dotty
EastEnders’ Milly Zero breaks silence over departure from BBC soap
idle campers
I’m A Celeb fans blast ‘3 lazy stars’ & say camp gossips are ‘stirring feud’
GRUMBLE IN THE JUNGLE
Olivia Attwood hints at I’m A Celeb ‘cover-up’ & gives health update
In a recent scene, three gay men barked at a teenage girl (Summer — supposedly a brain box, but behaves like an over-emotional halfwit) about her “sugar levels”, which led to highly unpleasant optics.
Now a pair of evil Christians are attempting to use her as a surrogate; I can’t help thinking that if a gay couple wanted to rent out her womb, it would be portrayed as a positive thing.
Though Muslims are treated with respect in the Street, the only good Christian is Billy the Vicar, who wears a look of permanent sorrow and does an annoying intake of breath presaging each line — in which he is invariably guilty/sorry/wrong.
On this strange new pod-people Street, which looks the same but has an air of body-snatching about it, 11-year-old boys lecture adults on the superiority of restorative as opposed to carceral justice.
Saintly migrants regularly appear, and reluctance to offer hospitality immediately marks indigenous characters out as either silly or sinister.
Things appeared to be getting interesting when a left-wing gaggle recently rocked up as the crew of eco-nut Spider, spouting anti-capitalist propaganda and conspiracy theories.
I can’t help thinking that if a gay couple wanted to rent out Summer’s womb, it would be portrayed as a positive thing.
Julie Burchill
But self-righteous dry-drunk Peter Barlow soon discovered at an impromptu pop concert that they don’t like immigrants — so they’re not left-wing after all and one of them is an undercover policeman.
You can’t help thinking that the producers lost their nerve about whatever they were originally planning to do and just fell back on the tried and tested Evil Racist trope.
And now ringleader Griff has got his hooks into Max, the token left-behind white boy, ripe for radicalisation, who has in turn taken up with a white supremacist cutie who doesn’t like curry.
Meanwhile, teenage boot boys have taken to calling their victims “snowflakes” — because thugs are really informed about the culture wars.
In case you think I’m exaggerating, I kept a note of the scenes before the first ad break on the evening of November 11.
It went like this:
- Discussion of how people shouldn’t be a scared of asylum seekers.
- Discussion of a child wanting to visit the murderer of his mother.
- Character with diabetes looking peaky.
- Falsely accused murderer sad about his daughter being a real murderer.
- Character “called out” for racism in Roy’s Rolls.
- White working-class boy brain-washed by Islamophobic rabble-rouser.
It’s only being so cheerful that keeps them going!
There have recently been genuinely touching and skilful “issue” storylines — the trafficking of Alina and the murder of Seb come to mind.
From 1998 to 2014, the portrayal of Hayley Cropper — the first ever trans character on a TV series — was totally believable.
But I just don’t think the lightness of touch and playful humour used to create Hayley could happen these days — she’d be a dress-up doll sent to instruct us on diversity, and thus unsympathetic as scolds always are.
Life is hard enough for people today — and getting worse — for them to want to be lectured every time they sit down and seek entertainment.
Watching Corrie used to feel like eavesdropping on a couple of outrageous old matriarchs on the bus, now it’s like sitting in a doctor’s surgery reading public health pamphlets.
Julie Burchill
“A story of working people,” says the proud blurb on ITV Hub.
But Labour lost the Red Wall through lecturing rather than listening and the Street appears to be going the same way.
Though an episode can still claim six million viewers, the audience has dropped by nearly 20 per cent over the past five years, and from more than 26million in 1987 to less than five million this year.
Watching Corrie used to feel like eavesdropping on a couple of outrageous old matriarchs on the bus and wishing you could be part of their Hell’s Grannies gang.
Now it’s like sitting in a doctor’s waiting room without a book, losing the will to live as you plough through public health pamphlets, or like accidentally walking into a local council workshop on inclusivity.
And I hate seeing this invasion of the Corrie-snatchers ruining what could — for once, even considering how the phrase is overused — justifiably be called a national treasure.
Street’s stories are so right-on
WRITERS have catapulted Corrie into the woke era with a spate of right-on and hard-hitting storylines.
Last month pregnant teen Summer Spellman toyed with having an abortion, but instead is set to sell her baby to childless couple Esther and Mike.
ITVTroubled teen Max Turner is set to be radicalised by far-right eco-campaigners[/caption]
In June, Maria Connor was horrified when someone used her face in a deepfake X-rated video.
Hairdresser turned local councillor Maria Connor has received death threats on a social media post about refugees.
Could it be one-time opponent Bernard Barnes, who earlier this year was foiled by Maria for trying to suppress a report on air pollution?
Tim and Sally were visiting a relaxation coach as he was suffering from erectile dysfunction – and then healthcare worker Aggie decided he had developed a sex phobia after going through major surgery.
In June, unemployed Leo started making hipster homebrew.
To cheer him up, Daisy made his concoction a guest ale at the Rovers.
Toyah Battersby bumped into old flame Spider when she staged a protest against burning recycling after the Weatherfield bin strikes.
But Spider was soon arrested for taking part in a protest against fracking.
Troubled teen Max Turner is set to be radicalised by far-right eco-campaigners – with gang leader Griff taking him to a racist concert – while Spider has gone undercover for the police to infiltrate the campaigners.
Pep Guardiola labels Benjamin Mendy “happy and funny boy” at rape trial – Mirror Online
Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has told jurors he had “no idea” what rape accused Benjamin Mendy did off the pitch as he is “not his father”.
The Spanish football manager said Mendy was a “happy and funny boy” and it would be “difficult to find anyone in the locker room who would speak badly of him”. He said he was aware Mendy broke lockdown restrictions in 2020 by holding parties and said the pair had a chat.
He said: “Of course I was not happy. We talked about that and he accepted that he didn’t do the right thing.”
Asked if he was aware of the allegations Mendy faced, Guardiola said he had been asked to come to court by the 28-year-old to give character evidence, adding: “And that’s why I’m here.”
Image:
Julian Hamilton/Daily Mirror)
Mendy is accused of raping and sexually assaulting a total of six different women on five different occasions at his home in Mottram St Andrew between October 2018 and August last year.
Mendy denies seven counts of rape, one count of attempted rape and one count of sexual assault.
Guardiola, 51, told jurors at Chester Crown Court this afternoon he noticed Mendy when he was playing for Monaco and beat Manchester City in a match.
He said: “We were really impressed as a club, he had the potential to play with us.
“I think he’s a generous boy and very quickly adapted to the team. I would say he was happy when he could help the other [players]. I remember, when you asked him something for his mate or for the club, always he was able to do it.
“And he’s a funny boy. He was the player that was the happiest the most – I would say more than on the pitch – in the training sessions.”
Asked by Mendy’s barrister Eleanor Laws KC if he knew Mendy enjoyed his social life, Guardiola replied: “I can see the players when we are together in the training sessions. In their private life I don’t know what they do.
Image:
Getty)
“I’m not active in social media so I don’t follow my players on social media, so I don’t know what they were doing out of my control of the training sessions and the games.”
Ms Laws said: “Your interest is what he’s like on the pitch and in the training sessions.”
Guardiola replied: “Absolutely – I’m not his father” and laughed.
He added: “We are 22 players – I cannot control them off the pitch and if they are not ready to make training sessions I would notice immediately. That’s what I’m taking care of and paying attention to.”
Asked if there were times when Mendy’s social life appeared to be affecting his performance, Guardiola said: “I don’t know what the effect of his life outside the pitch was on the pitch but of course I try to demand the best of him – sometimes he delivered to us, sometimes he didn’t deliver.”
Mendy’s co-accused Louis Saha Matturie, 41, of Eccles, Salford, denies six counts of rape and three counts of sexual assault relating to seven young women.
The trial continues.
Ex-UFC star Paige VanZant’s ‘nip slip’ sends fans crazy as gorgeous fighter teases ‘I see you’
EX-UFC star Paige VanZant’s “nip slip” has sent her fans into a frenzy as the American bombshell teased “I see you”.
VanZant, 28, regularly delights in posting pictures for her devoted Twitter and Instagram followers.
Instagram / @paigevanzantVanZant’s ‘nip slip’ sent fans wild[/caption]
Instagram / @paigevanzantFans claim ‘we’ve seen all of you’[/caption]
The blonde beauty shared the picture on Instagram wearing an orange bra with the caption “I see you” and fans say they could see more than VanZant might have hoped.
One fan joked: “Quite nippy out today…”
Another said: “Oh we’ve all seen all of you.
While a third replied: “Yeah but like. I see yoooou.”
READ MORE ON PAIGE VANZANT
The teasing photo has picked up over 80,000 likes already and is a good advert for VanZant’s OnlyFans page.
VanZant joined the X-rated platform in September and has had considerable success.
She has she’s racked up over 450k likes on OnlyFans.
If her Instagram is enticing enough, you will have to pay £8.49 a month to see more on the content site.
Most read in MMA
ADE BOY ALEX
Watch the moment Adesanya gets brutally knocked out by Alex Pereira at UFC 281
AD ENOUGH
Adesanya brutally STOPPED by Pereira as undefeated run comes to an end
SHOCK ‘N MOLL
Molly McCann’s win streak snapped by Blanchfield by bone-crushing submission
UFC 281
Latest updates for Adesanya vs Pereira & Poirier vs Chandler in New York
CELEST-IAL
Fans all say same thing as UFC star Arianny shares birthday snaps from night out
WET VAN, MAN!
Ex-UFC star Paige VanZant sends fans wild with busty display in pool
PLAY OUR DREAM TEAM WORLD CUP FANTASY FOOTBALL GAME TO WIN A SHARE OF £50k
Or you can pay for a 12-month subscription, which comes with a 20 per cent discount.
VanZant is now signed to Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship and All Elite Wrestling.
But since joining AEW she is yet to perform in a singles bout – only in a trios match.
Instagram / @paigevanzantVanZant, 28, has over 500,000 Twitter followers[/caption]
Instagram / @paigevanzantThe American recently posed in a leopard print onesie[/caption]