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Class balance is still an absolute joke in Diablo 4—but the game has far bigger problems

May 27, 2023 by humorouz Leave a Comment

It’s fair to say that last time we got to play Diablo 4, during the two initial weekend betas, class balance was a complete mess. Sorcerers were nuking everything in sight while Barbarians struggled to lift their axes, and Necromancers were standing around AFK watching their skeletons clear entire dungeons for them. Blizzard quickly promised buffs and nerfs, so heading into this final beta, the “Server Slam”, I was most curious to see what those changes would amount to. The result? I’m left with even less confidence that Blizzard has any idea how to make this game fun. 

Barbarians, at least, felt a little stronger than they did before—it wasn’t too back-breaking to beat the Den Mother this time around—but they’re still substantially slower, weaker, and less versatile than anyone else. Sorcerers remain walking nukes that can kill enemies three screens away. Meanwhile, Necromancers got nerfed so haphazardly that they had to get rebuffed halfway through the beta test, because their skeleton minions were now dissolving in the presence of bosses and leaving them plinking away with pitiful ranged spells. 

In short: class balance is still an absolute joke, and worse still, Blizzard has shown no sign of having any vision for what direction changes should be going in. Sure, this is still a beta, but the launch is due June 6, with early access on June 1—we’re very unlikely to see substantial tweaks before then. Right now, we’re looking at a day one where Sorcerers and Barbarians are not so much playing different games as operating on different planes of reality. 

But really, the class imbalance is just a symptom. The real problem is that it doesn’t matter whether your favourite class is firing on all cylinders or shooting blanks—none of them are much fun to play. 

Class dismissed

(Image credit: Tyler C. / Activision Blizzard)

For a Barbarian, the game is boring because it’s a long, slow slog of whacking at spongy healthbars. For a Sorcerer, the game is boring because you just throw out a handful of very similar spells that work in all situations and things melt in your presence. At no end of the spectrum has Blizzard found satisfying, interesting gameplay loops, other than the endless treadmill of watching the numbers incrementally go up.

As I lamented during the last betas, Blizzard hasn’t learnt anything about action-RPG combat in the 11 years since Diablo 3. I’d go so far as to say it’s stepped backward. As I went into then, fights are slow and awkward, with any potentially interesting combos or loops hamstrung by long cooldowns that prevent any kind of satisfying rhythm. Character building is the worst of both worlds—streamlined and restrictive, with clear intended paths for characters to take, but fiddly enough that theorycrafting is mostly a matter of hunting for keywords. 

Even healing is wrong-headed—spellcasters can just ignore their health, while melee characters have to plan every boss fight around when more potions are going to drop, a completely uninteresting subsystem. There are only two ways to die: either you’re a character that can’t avoid getting hurt, and you simply run out of resources because your DPS isn’t high enough to get to the next step of the fight; or you’re a character that never gets hurt, but you take a stray hit from an obnoxiously long crowd control effect, and get battered down before you can unfreeze and chug a potion. Neither is at all satisfying or dramatic. 

Horrible bosses

(Image credit: Activision Blizzard)

During the Server Slam, everyone had one goal in mind—to kill the world boss, Ashava, and claim their exclusive cosmetic. But the great beast only ended up being the perfect capstone to Diablo 4’s problems. As Fraser discovered, fighting it was just a long, tedious slog that made every part of your character feel meaningless. Playing a tanky build? Pointless, because you die in one hit from one of its enormous AoE attacks. Playing DPS? Enjoy watching an enormous healthbar achingly slowly tick down while you spam one spell that it has no visible reaction to. Playing support? No, you aren’t—that doesn’t exist. Playing a Necromancer? Sorry, all your skeletons got banished to Double Hell and they ain’t coming back. All of that slow, tedious grinding of getting to level 20 culminated in an even slower, more tedious grind of a fight.

Sure, it didn’t help that Blizzard made the bizarre decision to point us all at a level 25 boss while the beta level cap was reduced to 20, but even a faster, easier version of that fight wouldn’t have been any less dull. At its core, the combat is simply half-baked—Blizzard never found the fun, whether you’re adventuring alone or teaming up for flimsy MMO-like activities.

(Image credit: Blizzard)

I’m more sure than ever that Diablo 4 is bringing nothing new to the action-RPG table. It’s big and shiny, and pretty good looking—a lot of people are going to give it a pass for that. Maybe for mindlessly pushing through while you watch TV, it’ll do the job for a lot of them. But not only is there no innovation or creativity here whatsoever, there isn’t even a basic understanding of how to make an action-RPG engaging—and the ineffective tweaks made so far are a sure sign that one isn’t developing any time soon. From a series as genre-defining as Diablo, and a studio as storied as Blizzard, we should expect far better.

But hey, the servers did hold up remarkably well—I’ll give ’em that. At least I didn’t have to queue up to get my gruel. 

Filed Under: Articles - World

The five funniest laugh-out-loud films of all time, according to me, Suella Braverman – NewsThump

May 27, 2023 by humorouz Leave a Comment

I have been accused of laughing heartily at the plight of the asylum seekers I am trying to send to Rwanda instead of processing here in the UK per our obligations under the 1951 Convention on Refu…

Filed Under: Articles - World

Cher Marks 77th Birthday With Hilarious Comment About Her Age

May 27, 2023 by humorouz Leave a Comment

Cher may have turned 77, but she doesn’t feel like it.

“Ok, will Someone PLEASE tell me…..When Will I Feel OLD,” the singer tweeted on her birthday, May 20. “This is ridiculous. I keep hearing these numbers, but I Honestly can’t understand them.”

The iconic singer then posed a question: “WHATS THE DEAL WITH (numbers).”

“I’m dyslexic & (numbers) Are hard 4 me,” she added in her post.

In response to her tweet, many fans wished the “Believe” singer a happy birthday.

“Age is a number,” one fan commented. “When you open your heart (like I know you do) we are age less. The spirit hasn’t got an age.”

Another wrote, “Love you Cher! Happy birthday, you’re so wonderful. The best icon, legend, diva, queen. Much love.”

“Immortal,” another Twitter user commented.

Cher ended her birthday message with a simple, “Got to go work out.”

She previously shared her intense fitness routine with fans in January 2022.

“Just came up from, Abs, Zumba, Yoga, Wall Sits,” she tweeted, before adding that the next day she scheduled “Step Class, Yoga, Different Abs.”

One fan commented at the time, “Hey there, Cher! Phew! I worked up a sweat, and am exhausted, just reading this tweet.”

So far in 2023, Cher has been busy enjoying her romance with beau Alexander Edwards. In March, she stepped out to make her red carpet debut with Edwards, a music producer and rapper.

Cher opened up about their decades-wide age gap on “The Kelly Clarkson Show” in December 2022.

“On paper, it’s kind of ridiculous but in real life, we get along great,” Cher said. “He’s fabulous, and I don’t give men qualities that they don’t deserve. But he’s very kind, he’s very smart. He’s very talented and he’s really funny so, and I think he’s quite handsome.”

Filed Under: Articles - World

Beverly Hills steakhouse transcends into all-out brawl, and the screaming is hilarious

May 26, 2023 by humorouz Leave a Comment

You would expect this behavior at a Benihana. Not a fancy-schmancy Beverly Hills steakhouse. But what can you say? Sometimes it’s just on sight. It’s unclear what happened to cause things to pop off at Lawry’s The Prime Rib in such a fashion. It doesn’t matter. I’ve gathered you all here today to laugh at everyone involved.

How undignified for a nice steakhouse. pic.twitter.com/XmeZpWbDB0
— Louder with Crowder Dot Com (@LWCnewswire) May 12, 2023

You know the rules with viral videos: Allow for missing context. In this clip, what’s missing is what got the action started. By my calculations, the people at the table were upset about something. They complained to the manager, but the manager wasn’t listening to them as intently as they demanded. The customer attempted to tell the manager how to do his job.

The manager was now listening:

“You’re standing there in those clothes, and getting loud with me? Really? You’re doing that?”

And we’re off! The aggrieved customer set a world record for squeezing the word “f*ck” as many times as he could within a single sentence. Though, his friend’s comebacks need a little work.

“Where’d you get your suit, JC Penny? Look at this suit, looks like you got this suit out of the garbage can…”

This was all just the preview. The appetizer. The garlic mashed potatoes and the mac and cheese before the dry-aged porterhouse comes out.

Because a second group came into the picture. It is unclear if they were involved in the initial altercation prior to the start of this video or if they were speaking out against the main dude’s potty mouth. It’s also unclear who threw the first punch or how the big dude got his shirt ripped off. Because the person filming the excitement made the editorial decision to instead of filming the brawl, films the hilarious, over-reactive screaming from all the women at the table. They were so unable to calm down that you would think the Supreme Court just overturned Roe v. Wade.

The video ends without any resolution to the incident. Just a lot of “I’m calling the cops” and “you’re going to jail.” My experience is that the people who find it necessary to declare aloud that they are calling the cops and that someone is going to jail are almost always the antagonists.

I don’t know how good the steak is. But this is USDA Prime 9/10 content.

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Brodigan is Grand Poobah of this here website and when he isn’t writing words about things enjoys day drinking, pro-wrestling, and country music. You can find him on the Twitter too.

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Filed Under: Articles - World

“Aur khelo road pe PSL” – Top 10 funny memes after Afghanistan’s thumping victory against Pakistan in 1st T20I in Sharjah

May 26, 2023 by humorouz Leave a Comment

Afghanistan beat Pakistan comfortably by six wickets in the first T20I of the three-match series on Friday, March 24, at the Sharjah Cricket Stadium in Sharjah.

Filed Under: Articles - World

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