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Ever since I was a child, I had always dreamed of having a family. A good man who loves me and eventually our children. After my wedding to Brian, I was one step away from that dream. We loved each other, and we were so eager to become parents that we didn’t waste any time. A few months after our wedding I was already pregnant and throughout the journey, I was so excited. Despite the morning sickness, fatigue and cravings I couldn’t wait to hold my baby.  

Brian and I had attended all the clinical checkups together, decorated the baby’s room and planned my days accordingly. By the seventh month, we had already known which day I was supposed to go to the hospital. Normally you don’t know what to expect during your pregnancy journey, but Brian had made it easier. He was always involved and concerned about my well-being.   

My due date was supposed to be in the second week of December but ended up being delayed to the third week. My family could not travel to Nairobi which was understandable since it was almost Christmas. Luckily, I knew that at least I had Brian. By the 24th I had checked into the hospital and the contractions had started. Since this was my first pregnancy the contractions were intense and to make matters worse, I started vomiting.   

Although I knew my mum wasn’t able to be around, I still felt the need to talk to her at that moment. Brian, who was holding my phone, called her and put her on the loudspeaker as he held my hand. She helped to take my mind off the pain although it was still on and off. One of the nurses also encouraged me to take small sips of water.  

Brian stepped out of the room after a while to make a phone call which I didn’t pay much attention to. When he came back, I felt a sudden shift of energy. I figured maybe the call didn’t go well but after he walked to the other side of the room I got concerned.  

“What’s wrong?” I asked him.  

“Nothing,” He mumbled before going silent on me.  

I was surprised since Brian had never given me the cold shoulder before and why today of all days?  

“Seriously what’s wrong? Why are you over there? At least come hold my hand or rub my belly. I am in pain,” I said to him.  

“Nothing, it’s not important,” He replied.  

Eventually, they moved me to my official room. I was still in pain and wondering why my husband was acting weird all of a sudden. We planned for this baby and went through the pregnancy period together peacefully. All through the move he was distant.  

Once we got to the room, I realized I didn’t have the time to deal with Brian’s mood swings. This was a once-in-a-lifetime experience and nobody was going to ruin it for me. I had a feeling it was something he had seen on my phone. I never hid anything from him which is why this moment was weird to me.   

Anyway, I reminded myself that when you are searching for something regardless of whether it’s there or not you will make nothing into something. When the time came for me to deliver the baby, he put aside his mood and supported me. I accepted his encouragement since this was a heavy moment, but it still felt fake.   

My little girl was finally placed on my chest, and I was so overwhelmed with joy. However, this was not how I expected the moment would feel. Brian was so happy, but it felt as if we were co-parents having two different experiences with our baby. Not a husband and a wife celebrating the beginning of their little family.   

Since the next day is usually counted as day one, we shared a room that night. He slept on the couch, and I was on the bed, and everything just felt so wrong. I had envisioned that he would be beside me as we basked in the moment of having our first baby. The following day my mum surprised me which made me feel better. Brian decided to give us privacy, but I knew he had gone back to being in his feelings.   

When I was finally discharged my mum called an Uber to take us home. The whole ride home I was wondering where Brian was. I expected to find him waiting for me outside holding flowers and ready to take us home. What was supposed to be the second happiest day of my life was ruined by the man I called the love of my life.   

When we got home Brian wasn’t even there, which made matters worse. I had decided to keep the events of the past two days a secret from our families, so I didn’t react. Eventually, when he came home, we all had dinner and when we got to our room, I raised the issue.   

“Brian what’s wrong don’t tell me it’s nothing,” I said.  

“I just don’t want to talk about it since I don’t want to ruin your moment,” He responded.  

We gave each other the silent treatment for the rest of the week since I was going through so much to deal with his drama. The following week my mum finally travelled back home, and he finally opened up with a lie. He claimed that the reason he gave me the cold shoulder was that one of my coworkers had been commenting on my posts with love emojis. I wasn’t shocked because Brian had moments of jealousy, but I had never responded to those comments.  

To make matters worse why would he choose the day I was giving birth to go through my Instagram? This led me to believe that wasn’t the real reason he was upset that day, but I accepted it and we moved on. A few days later as I was going through my block list, I noticed an account I didn’t recognize. Normally the people I block are those scam pages and the people I cut off from my life.  

I unblocked her and went through the messages. She had sent me paragraphs talking about her sexual relationship with Brian. The two had been having sex while I was pregnant. So, I put two and two together and realized while I was in labour, he was covering up his tracks. When I confronted him about it, he denied it even though I had proof. Later I realized the woman was his mum’s best friend which made the story even more disturbing. Throughout the divorce process, all I could think about was how my little fantasy had been destroyed. All because my husband couldn’t keep his temptation at bay. 

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Somewhere in The Vatican is a butt plug with Lord Of The Lost frontman Chris Harms’s face on it. He knows this because he sent it. “We sell them as ‘paperweights’ because you can’t sell sex toys without a different kind of merch store,” explains Chris. “But we didn’t sell them to the Pope – we sent them. I wanted the guys in The Vatican to – pun intended – open up. We sent them with tracking numbers and insurance. We know they got there, we just don’t know what happened with them.”

Lord Of The Lost are very much the kind of band you’d expect to send sex toys to the home of the Catholic Church. The German band’s industrial/goth metal hybrid sound and flamboyant, fetish-adjacent imagery is designed to get them noticed. It’s worked – they’re stars in their homeland and across the rest of Europe, while the UK and USA is catching up. They’ve caught the attention of Iron Maiden’s Steve Harris, who invited them to support his band, and even met the recently crowned King Charles III. And then there’s Eurovision. 

In what could be the weirdest moment of the year so far, Lord Of The Lost were picked to be Germany’s official entry in the final of the 2023 edition of the long-running pop contest. Their song, the electro-glam Rammstein stomp of Blood & Glitter, stood out like, well, a butt plug in the Vatican. It begs the question: how the hell does a bunch of feather-sporting, PVC-clad Germans go from opening for Iron Maiden to appearing at Eurovision? “It’s a long story,” says Chris with a chuckle.

It’s a few days before the Eurovision final when Hammer meets Lord Of The Lost in Liverpool. Just over a week ago, they were touring South America. Last night, they rehearsed in front of a sold-out audience at the M&S Bank Arena, where the finals are being held in a few days’ time. The band have been fielding interviews almost nonstop for months. They’d done 500 before they even arrived in Liverpool. “It must be around 666 by this point,” jokes Chris. 

The band are understandably knackered, though they aren’t letting it show as they sit in a boardroom in the Aloft hotel. Chris has swapped his stage regalia for a tracksuit top and jeans, though the flicks of eyeliner and neon-bright knee-high rainbow legwarmers betray the sense of flair he’s had since his days working as a barman in Hamburg gay club ABSOLUT as an 18-year-old in the late 1990s. 

“I was the only heterosexual working there, but it was completely my world because I could work topless with blue hair and no eyebrows, lots of make-up,” he says. 

That sense of flamboyance was in place when Chris formed Lord Of The Lost in 2007 at the age of 27. He’d already played in a series of bands ranging from industrial rock outfit Philae to glam metallers The Pleasures, but he wanted his own project. He began working on songs at home in Hamburg’s vibrant St Pauli district. These demos were released on MySpace under the name LORD, a nickname other kids at school had for him. 

After signing with German label Out Of Line, he assembled a band and rechristened the project Lord Of The Lost to avoid confusion with other bands who had Lord in their name. Lord Of The Lost released their debut album, Fears, in 2010. Since then, their music has taken onboard everything from disco to the glam edge of 2022’s Blood & Glitter (their eighth studio album). Similarly, their image has gone from standard-issue black jeans and white vests, through to post-apocalyptic vampire chic circa 2016’s Empyrean, to the ‘albino Satanic monks’ look of 2021’s Judas, up to today’s peacocks-let-loose-in-an-S&M-club clobber. 

“Our only constant has been change,” says Chris of the band’s musical and visual approach. He lists the artists that have influenced him: David Bowie, Rammstein, Abba, Cradle Of Filth, 90s Swedish pop-rockers Roxette. “I still listen to Lady Gaga and Cradle Of Filth back to back in my car.” 

Predictably, metal and goth gatekeepers haven’t always embraced their look or their sound. “It doesn’t hurt me anymore when somebody goes ‘You look too gay’ or ‘You’re too colourful’,” Chris adds. “There must be a reason it bothers them so much. Yes, we are different and proud of the fact.” 

In any case, Lord Of The Lost’s detractors are outweighed by the people who do like them. Every album they’ve released since Empyrean has reached the Top 10 in Germany, with Blood & Glitter hitting No.1. In 2022, they were handpicked by Steve Harris to open for Iron Maiden in Europe after he saw the videos for their songs Black Halo and On This Rock I Will Build My Church. 

“Nearly every night we spent some time with him just chatting,” Chris says of the Maiden bassist. “He’s such an inspiration and so humble; just there with his cargo shorts, metal shirts and trekking shoes. This man helped invent heavy metal as we know it. He’s always polite, giving you great advice then always adding, ‘But what do I know?’ It’s like ‘Yes, Steve, what do you know?!’ If anyone knows how things work in metal, I think it’s Steve Harris.” 

It’s unlikely that ’Arry could have foreseen just how weird their journey to Eurovision would be. They spent a decade unsuccessfully trying to enter the competition to represent Germany at the finals. This time around, the rules were changed to include a broader range of genres and, earlier this year, Lord Of The Lost finally got their shot. Unexpectedly, Blood & Glitter trounced various schmaltzy ballads and slick R’n’B tunes to win Unser Lied für Liverpool (‘A Song For Liverpool’). 

Shortly afterwards, as Germany’s official Eurovision entry, they got to meet King Charles during his first state visit to Germany as British monarch. Chris and his bandmates were in full stage gear at the time. “He wanted to know where we got our costumes from,” recalls the singer. Sadly, he doesn’t add if he sent a butt plug with his face on it to Buckingham Palace.

It’s barely 8am when Hammer arrives at The Cavern Club, but a queue is already snaking down the street. This iconic venue is where The Beatles played their earliest gigs. Today, it’s hosting a Lord Of The Lost acoustic set. At the front of the queue is Laurence. He won’t say exactly what time he arrived, only that it was “stupid early”. Behind him, fellow devotees Hannah and Matt reveal that they arrived at 6.20am. Further back, we spot somebody dressed in a homemade version Chris’s current stage outfit. This is Jerome. Surprisingly, he’s not a hardcore fan. 

“I’d never heard of them before Eurovision,” admits Jerome, who travels from his native Germany to watch Eurovision every year. “But I really like their message, to be there for the lost people, the ones who feel like they don’t have a place.” 

Inside, The Cavern is packed with a mixture of black-clad metalheads and neon-sporting Eurovision fans. Even without their costumes and pyro, Lord Of The Lost are hugely entertaining. Chris cracks jokes and leads the crowd through singalongs. Danny Estrin, vocalist in Australia’s Eurovision finalists Voyager, makes a surprise appearance. “Heavy music at Eurovision this year… it’s gonna be big!” he proclaims to cheers of approval. 

The next time we see the band it’s the day before the Eurovision final. They’re being ushered onstage at the M&S Bank Arena as part of a six-hour rehearsal ahead of the big night. It’s a gruelling and meticulously planned operation, but for the three minutes Lord Of The Lost are on the stage, still dressed down but with jets of flame spouting around them, it feels like they’re in with a chance of winning. 

“We often get the question: ‘Why do you guys need Eurovision when you can tour with Iron Maiden?’” says Chris when we catch up with the band later. “And the answer is… they’re very different audiences. Just because you have one, doesn’t mean you don’t need the other.” 

Not only are they very different audiences, they’re very different experiences. “With Eurovision, everything is marked down to the second,” Chris says. “We had to go frame by frame through the show before the rehearsals, checking every camera position, everything. It’s like a live music video shoot in front of 160 million viewers.”

At the same time, the singer admits he has few complaints about being here. “I remember watching with my parents every year, being blown away by everything that was happening onstage,” he says. “I knew I wanted to be on that stage. So for me, this is fulfilling a childhood dream.”

Two weeks later, we catch up with Chris on Zoom. Sadly, despite an eye-catching performance, Lord Of The Lost weren’t able to reverse Germany’s dire recent Eurovision showings. They finished last with just 18 points, though at least they improved on the six points last year’s entrant, Malik Harris, received. Yet Chris insists he isn’t disheartened by the result. 

“Everyone’s expecting us to grieve the outcome, but we came as ambassadors for heavy music at Eurovision, so we did our job,” he says. Still, he does concede that the post-show press conference in front of the German media was tough. “Nobody was mad, but they all looked so sad. You have to explain to them: ‘It is what it is, thank you for all the support.’ After that, nobody was in the party mood, so we went back to the hotel.” 

That Eurovision-shaped cloud has a sizable silver lining. Lord Of The Lost’s streaming stats have exploded since they were announced as Germany’s entrants earlier this year, rocketing from 300,000 monthly Spotify listeners in March to 1.8 million in the days after the final. The band have plenty to keep themselves occupied in the coming months, too. 

There’s a run of European festival appearances in the summer, and they’ll once again be supporting Iron Maiden at the latter’s UK gigs in June and July, before returning to this side of the English Channel for their own headlining shows in September. However, it does mean the singer won’t have as much time to spend at home with the orphaned kittens he and his family adopted from Poland during the pandemic. “Their mother had been run over,” he says. “We called one Piwo, which is Polish for beer.” 

And beyond that? According to Chris, the Eurovision adventure was just the latest step on the never-knowingly uneventful journey that is Lord Of The Lost’s career – a journey that could take them literally anywhere. “I don’t know what the future looks like, because we’ve got so much still to do,” Chris says. “But we’re not an act that was built for Eurovision that will just vanish afterwards, we’ll just keep going. Besides, I loved the experience. Even if I knew we would come last, we’d take part again.” 

Sure enough, the band are confirmed to return to Eurovision – of a sort – in 2024, when they will play in the Swedish city of Malmö the day before that year’s Eurovision final. In the meantime, there are shows to play, PVC costumes to wipe down and butt plugs to post.

Lord Of The Lost tour the UK in September.

Kyle Richards is upset with pal-turned-foe Jeff Lewis for his shady remark that she is a “lesbian on Ozempic.”

The “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” star, 54, confirmed on Amazon Live Thursday that she has not responded to the Sirius XM host’s texts after he made comments about her on “Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen” Tuesday night.

“I’m not not talking to Jeff Lewis, I just don’t feel like responding to Jeff Lewis right now, to be honest with you,” she explained.

“I’m just tired of it. I’m at my wit’s end with all of the stories about me out there and I just want everyone to be quiet.”

Richards added, “It’s hard enough with people saying things about me and you just expect your friends not to … I kind of felt, like, yesterday with friends like that, who needs enemies?”

The “Halloween Kills” star concluded by saying she thinks Lewis’ mouth “gets him into trouble” and she simply “wasn’t in the mood” to reply to any of his messages, as a result.

Lewis, 53, tells Page Six exclusively in response to Richards’ reaction, “I was simply poking fun at these ridiculous rumors that have been circulating about my friend, Kyle.

“I never expected anyone to take this seriously and have apologized publicly and privately. If I could say one thing to Kyle; please text me back.“

The quip that got the “Jeff Lewis Live” host in hot water with his pal was uttered during a game on “WWHL” called, “Jeff, What’s Your Issue?”

Richards’ photo propped on the screen and Lewis chimed in, “Kyle and I are friends, and … she didn’t tell me she’s a lesbian on Ozempic,” causing host Andy Cohen to cover his face with his cue cards.

The crowd, meanwhile, burst into laughter and the former “Flipping Out” star later added, “I could get even gayer on Ozempic.”

Lewis was referring to the longstanding rumors that Richards has used the diabetes drug Ozempic to lose a significant amount of weight and is dating singer Morgan Wade amid her split from Mauricio Umansky.

The Bravolebrity has vehemently denied both allegations. In May, she told Page Six exclusively regarding the drug claims, “I can say that I have never tried it and I have never taken it.

“I’m not on any weight loss drug. If you know me, you know I have terrible anxiety so that would scare me to death. I have never, ever ever taken it.”

For more Page Six reality TV updates

Richards instead credited her fit physique to eating healthy, not drinking and her personal trainer Cory Gregory, who also trains Wade, 28.

In response to the speculation that she is seeing the country crooner, the “Housewife” said in June that it is “just a rumor.”

However, Richards enjoyed fueling the rumor mill Thursday with a steamy music video for Wade’s new single, “Fall In Love With Me,” in which the pair nearly kiss and flirt with one another.

The pair said in a joint Instagram caption for the clip, “It’s campy and fun — but also important and representative of all kinds of love, even in the country space, in any space.”