• Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

Humorouz

Mega Size Mega Fun

Parenting Beyond Expectations: Celebrating Every Smile with My Son

December 11, 2023 by humorouz Leave a Comment

When people observe me with my son, Lucas, one of the most common responses is about how there’s so much love between us. Whether it’s a comment on social media under a blog post or an observation from his pediatrician, it is easy for them to see that he, much like his sister, means the world to me.

They’re spot on in that assessment. My boy brings happiness into my life. The times that we’re together are some of my fondest and, no matter how bad my day has been, he can always make it brighter.

The reason why people might think this is commendable or unique is that Lucas is non-verbal. His autism affects him in many profound ways and, because of that, there are many aspects to our life together that might make a parent shudder. Just as it is with most kids, there’s work to be done in raising him. That work is just as substantial, but in different ways than his neurotypical sibling.

Lucas doesn’t face typical social or academic challenges, Instead, his focus is on life skills and communication. When people see me with him, they might imagine how overwhelming it would be to be in my position, suddenly tasked with caring for a child like mine. To be honest, it would be overwhelming, and the imagined scenario can indeed be scary.

However, that’s not the scenario I find myself in. I haven’t been transported here magically. The 12-year-old boy by my side is someone I’ve come to know over the span of 12 years. Everything we do and understand about each other has been a gradual process, with its fair share of ups and downs. This is a crucial piece of advice I’d offer to any new parent of a child with autism – understanding and connecting with your child takes time and experience.

Ironically, while it may be one of the biggest pieces of advice I could offer, it is also advice that can’t simply be given. It has to be lived. You must experience it to finally realize how to break that desire to make your child interact with the world in a way you’ve long deemed “correct”. It takes a change in thinking and perception. It takes patience from both parent and child. It comes with time.

Reflecting on the journey, there’s no single epiphany story to share, no “aha” moment that altered everything in one sweeping motion. Instead, it was a gradual process of adjustment. For years, I would try various activities, hoping they would catch on with Lucas, even when they initially seemed like a bust. The key was persistence because he might suddenly develop a fondness for something, as he did with swimming pools and bowling alleys. It took that consistent effort for us to discover his favorite places and activities. 

So, what changed over time? Well, me. I did. Instead of dwelling on what Lucas didn’t enjoy and falling into a funk over it, I accepted it and focused on finding other sources of joy for him in those situations. Unable to sit for Santa pictures? No problem. We’d explore Christmas tree displays or admire the twinkling lights. Not interested in hay rides at the fair? We’d run through fields and enjoy apple cider. We turned seemingly disastrous outings into cherished memories. It all comes down to a simple mantra I live by when taking my son out.

It’s not about where we go. it’s about what we do when we get there.

My son’s preferences may be unconventional, but so am I. We can find happiness in any situation, and a trip to the petting zoo isn’t a failure just because he doesn’t pet the goat or whatever bug-covered animal is there. It’s a failure only if we don’t do anything that brings a smile to his face, even if it’s just a little one. When all else fails, we can sit on a bench, watch people, and I can quietly sing him Raffi songs that I know will make him smile. It’s all about embracing happiness in our own unique way.

At the end of the day, that’s what we want, right? We want our kids to be happy. We want them to enjoy their time with us. We want them to know that we will always care about their feelings. Those are the things I try to do with him. I know that he can sense it and appreciates it.

Do I wish we could do more traditional father-son things together? Sports? Movies? Teenager activities? When he was younger, I would have said yes one hundred times over. Today, honestly – not really.

Don’t get me wrong, I would love to be able to take him to wrestling matches or cheer him on from the soccer sidelines. Those things, though, don’t really pop into my brain as much as they did when he was younger. In fact, they rarely pop in there at all. That’s not who he is.

They did when he was around five or six and kids were just getting into those things. So, in my mind, there was still that thought of, “He should be out there playing like others his age. What am I doing wrong? I’m not helping him get the most of his life.”

Now, he’s not a little boy with a blank slate personality canvas. He’s on the cusp of teenage years and we both know who he is. Who he is is special and distinctive. Would I love him to suddenly love basketball or some of the activities I loved as a kid? Sure. But am I lamenting for it and feeling crushed because it’s not happening? Nah. They’re just not his thing. We don’t need it in order to get along. 

That’s what made those observations about what he liked doing, as opposed to what other kids liked doing, so necessary. Without those open-minded realizations, I’d just have a list of things he didn’t like, rather than insight into what he does. I wouldn’t know who my son is. I’d just know who he’s not. Even the most devoted parents would struggle with that type of situation.

I’m glad I gave him a chance to show me who he truly is and I’m so grateful that I have gotten to know him as I have. Anyone who has done the same will know that’s why even those who barely know us can see so much love here. If you get to know him, you’ll find it’s pretty hard to not love a kid like mine.

READ NEXT:

FROM AUTISM AWARENESS TO AUTISM ACCEPTANCE TO AUTISM APPRECIATION


Every Friday on HIPODIMDAD.COM, Apple, Spotify, Google, Amazon, Stitcher, IHeartRadio, Pandora, Tune-In, Alexa, Podcast Addict, Podchaser, Pocket Casts, Deezer, Listen Notes, and…Everywhere Pods Are Casted.

Filed Under: Articles - World

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Recent Posts

  • The Ris of The Murder Mystery Game: Why Everyone is Dying to Play
  • Why Commercial Property in Singapore is Gaining Momentum Among Investors
  • Why Shophouses in Singapore Are One of the Most Profitable Property Investments Today
  • Shophouse Singapore: Blend of Heritage, Charm, and Investment Potential
  • Top 7 Most Visited Places of Attraction in Singapore

Recent Comments

    Archives

    • April 2025
    • May 2024
    • April 2024
    • March 2024
    • February 2024
    • January 2024
    • December 2023
    • November 2023
    • October 2023
    • September 2023
    • August 2023
    • July 2023
    • June 2023
    • May 2023
    • April 2023
    • March 2023
    • February 2023
    • January 2023
    • December 2022
    • November 2022
    • October 2022
    • September 2022
    • August 2022
    • July 2022
    • June 2022
    • May 2022
    • April 2022
    • March 2022
    • February 2022
    • January 2022
    • December 2021
    • October 2021
    • September 2021
    • May 2019
    • April 2019
    • March 2019
    • February 2019
    • January 2019
    • December 2018
    • November 2018

    Categories

    • Articles – World
    • Uncategorized

    Meta

    • Log in
    • Entries feed
    • Comments feed
    • WordPress.org

    Copyright © 2025 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in