Archives for March 2023

Aubrey Plaza and Jenna Ortega were perfectly deadpan together while presenting at the 2023 SAG Awards, and now I need them to star in everything together.

One of the last conversations John Malkovich had with Julian Sands, his best friend of 40 years, concerned how to prepare yourself for death. You can see that conversation in their new film, Seneca – On the Creation of Earthquakes, which premiered at the Berlin film festival this week. Malkovich fears it will be their last together.

Malkovich plays the Stoic philosopher of ancient Rome, an adviser and speechwriter to the despotic emperor Nero. In one scene, Seneca tells his friends: “Remind yourselves: we die every day. Death is stalking us everywhere, so it’s useless to fear or dread it.”

His audience includes Rufus, played by a spiky-haired Sands dressed in an orange ruff, silver bauble earrings and a silk gown. He sips wine and hangs on Seneca’s every word.

“Say a knot strangles you, or you fall off a cliff on to the rocks. However you go, even if it’s a ghastly thing, at least you die fast,” Seneca says. He briefly fakes his own death, falling into the lap of Rufus’s beautiful wife to do so, before rising again to tell his guests: “Kids, drink up, it’s later than you think.”

The film, says Malkovich, is “a pretty fitting tribute” to Sands, who went missing during a hiking trip in California more than a month ago. Postcards showing Sands as Rufus in the Moroccan desert, where filming took place, are laid out on a glass table in front of him.

Malkovich has little time for stoicism himself, he says. He has long stopped asking the question posed by Seneca in the film: why do bad things happen to good people? “And I don’t agree with Seneca that we choose the way we go,” he adds.

No trace of Sands has been found, but Malkovich says he is reassured the man he calls “my closest friend” was last seen doing something he loved. “I haven’t really talked about what happened with Jules,” he says. “But, in a way, it’s a choice, because he was an inveterate mountain climber/hiker. He was always tramping off to Kilimanjaro, or Antartica, or the Andes, or the Alps – a very experienced climber who’d been through very hairy experiences.

“I suppose the particular conditions on the ground that day on Mount Baldy must have led to some sort of catastrophic and immediate error that was irreversible. That was my instinct upon hearing it. But he knew what the conditions were, and that’s what he loved to do. He found great solace in the solitude of that.”

Sands was wont to go off on solo adventures, he says, “which is quite wild in itself, but he’s a boy who grew up wild on the moors and – despite being someone who could be incredibly erudite and polished – had always kept that wild part of himself”.

He wheels back to the film. “But I certainly don’t think all people choose their deaths. Some die horribly from myeloid leukemia when they’re three years old. I don’t think that’s a choice; I think that’s a pretty grotesque notion.” His gaze drifts upwards as he plucks a quote from a play he says he is preparing. “Death, we finally meet up with it by chance on the hazardous path from one light to another and we say to ourselves, so that’s all it is?”

Malkovich met Sands on the set of The Killing Fields in 1983 – two years before Sands’ breakthrough role in A Room With a View – and was immediately drawn to his wit and intellect. They worked together on a range of projects over the decades, and lived together for a while. Today, Malkovich alternates between past and present tense when speaking about Sands, his voice raspy and wistful.

“I love Jules. He was someone who was very, very clever. I know his ex-wife, Sarah [Sands, the former editor of the Evening Standard and Radio 4’s Today], terribly well and their son, Henry, is my godson. And I introduced Jules to Evgenia [his wife, also a journalist], who’s an old, old friend. I know their daughters [Natalya and Imogen] well. But I unfortunately never got to go up to Yorkshire with him. It’s a great loss.”

Speaking to Malkovich is a singular experience. He has a sartorial elegance – chaffinch-patterned shirt, matching kerchief, chocolate-brown tailored Sherlock-Holmes-style jacket – that is exquisitely out of place in scruffy Berlin.

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In our brief conversation, he finds time to question the use of the word “pandemic” to describe Covid, suggesting instead “mass hysteria or a series of stupidities and mistakes, which if nothing else reflect absolutely terribly on science”.

He then moves on to his avoidance of politics. “If it was honestly about solving societal problems, I’d be all for it.” Rather, he says, politics is about “power and corruption, narcissism and insanity, incompetence, stupidity, dishonesty … the list goes on. What would happen if every time a politician told a lie, a demonstrable lie, they had to retire from politics? Leave the playing field permanently and go and, say, work in a charity, like Profumo did. How many would there be left?”

Sands’ disappearance, and the recent arrival of a granddaughter, have galvanised him. “I’ll be 70 in December,” he says. “Do I have a day, a month, a year, 10 years? No idea. Time seems even more capricious than when I had my own children. You miss so much; it goes so fast.” But he has no desire to leave a lasting mark. “I don’t really care to have a legacy or history.”

Nor, he says, is he bothered about the reception he receives now. He eagerly discusses the recent case of a German ballet director who smeared dog faeces on the face of a critic in revenge for a negative review.

“I think it’s terrible! To attempt to silence critics or even interact with them about their critique is a violation. Toughen up! It’s a mistake by those in the public eye to think that when you enter the public square it’s all going to be tropical drinks on the veranda and bouquets of flowers.”

Malkovich knows of what he speaks. In his 2017 stage show The Music Critic, he plays a vile reviewer who denounces the work of Beethoven, Chopin and Prokofiev – before musicians exact their revenge. One write-up of the show was so poor that it made him “roll off the banquette in my home laughing so hard I was crying”.

The model of stoicism in this regard, he says, was Harold Pinter: “When The Caretaker opened in Düsseldorf, he took 54 curtain calls, all to boos.” Malkovich and Sands worked frequently with Pinter and loved reminiscing about the man. “He was such a terrific storyteller, Jules, and so, so funny. Since the day we met, I could talk to him about anything, and he could talk to me about anything…” He loses his train, then jolts himself back to the room. “But that’s the thing – you can’t do anything about it. Could I have envisaged Jules at 80?” He looks at the ground and his voice trails away. “I don’t know.”

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Comedian and actor Kieran Hodgson’s video of his hilarious Happy Valley impressions has gone viral.

Hodgson, who recently co-wrote and starred in Channel 4’s Prince Andrew: The Musical, shared a video online in which he recaps the third and final series of the hit BBC show. Hodgson speaks in character as the Happy Valley stars.

During the video, he imitates Sarah Lancashire’s Catherine Cawood and her sister Clare, played by Siobhan Finneran.

He also delivers impressions of Tommy Lee Royce (James Norton) and his teenage son Ryan (Rhys Connah).

Other moments see Hodgson take on Susan Lynch’s Alison Garrs, Conn O’Neil’s performance of Clare’s boyfriend Neil, and the PE teacher Mr Hepworth (Mark Stanley).

Hodgson shared the video on Twitter, writing: “A little treat for fans of #HappyValley Bad TV Impressions.”

Viewers have disagreed with his assessment, however, and are commending him for his efforts.

Director Jon S Baird (Filth) called the video “absolutely brilliant”, with actor and impressionist Jan Ravens concluding: “What a delight! It keeps on getting better.”

Comedian, actor and writer Anna Morris branded his impressions “genius”, while Twitter user @Gribbsy stated: “Can’t stop watching it.”

Hodgson has previously filmed similar videos for TV shows such as Line of Duty, The Crown, His Dark Materials and Succession.

Happy Valley’s third and final series drew to a close on Sunday (5 February).

Following the episode’s broadcast, creator Sally Wainwright revealed that the ending was changed at the request of Lancashire.

Happy Valley is available to stream on BBC iPlayer.

After a high energy opening performance by Latin music superstar Bad Bunny, Trevor Noah—who looked damn good in that white tuxedo jacket—kicked off the 65th Annual Grammy Awards with a monologue where he shouted out all the famous names in the building.

“My job is to be your eyes, your ears,” he said. “I’ll be floating around this room. Think of me like a Chinese spy balloon. That’s what I’m doing right now, gathering all the information you want.”

Trevor started with Beyoncé, because she is the name on everyone’s lips right now. He pointed out how influential her album Renaissance was, joking that it may have led to his decision to leave The Daily Show.

“Beyoncé is nominated for her album Renaissance. Which by the way, was better than anything from the actual renaissance in my opinion,” he said. “The renaissance was just pictures of grapes and stuff. Beyoncé took it up another level. I was so inspired by the lyrics of “Break My Soul,” I actually quit my job. I just wish Beyoncé had also written a song about the importance of having savings before you quit your job.”

Something tells me that Trevor is gonna be OK. The Black Panther: Wakanda Forever actor also shouted out pop star Harry Styles, talking about his penchant for defying gender expectations in fashion. He also called Harry the biggest sex symbol in the world, controversial comments when you remember that Michael B. Jordan is still a person who exists.

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“Women throw their panties at this man, then he puts them on and he looks better in them than they do,” Noah said. “Easily the world’s sexiest man, there’s no competition. Sex symbol of the globe. Especially now that they killed off the green m&m.”

Like the rest of us, Noah had thoughts on Kendrick Lamar’s much talked about album Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers.

“Man is super talented. He’s got Pulitzers, he’s got Grammys, his album was a therapy session that earned him multiple Grammy nominations,” he said. “All my therapist got me was helping me overcome my childhood trauma. Useless.”

Trevor also had nothing but kind words for “About Damn Time” singer Lizzo, celebrating her work ethic, as well as her status as the world’s most famous flutist.

“Body positivity, the TV shows, taking over the world, killing the haters on Instagram and Twitter. I love it,” he said. “The most famous flute player in the world since…I’m sure there were others. And you want to stick around because Lizzo’s performing tonight at exactly bac bitch o’clock.”

From introducing Adele and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, to his enthusiastic celebration of Beyoncé, Trevor Noah’s opening was exactly the fun, positive tone we needed to start the show with.