The internet went into meltdown yesterday (Nov 6) with the shock news Bolton-born comic Peter Kay is set to make a long-awaited comeback. The unexpected news broke during I’m A Celebrity last night, leaving fans stunned and desperate to get their hands on tickets.
It will be the legendary comedian’s first live tour since 2010, when he scored the Guinness World Record for the biggest selling run of all time, playing to more than 1.2 million people.
Tickets for the upcoming tour are expected to sell out quickly. But for those unable to bag a coveted spot in an audience, Peter does have an extensive back catalogue of stand-up shows and TV comedies to enjoy.
We take a look back at some of his most famous sketches and jokes – but would they be lost altogether on the younger generations?
1. Giving your mum three rings
“I’m in Bolton so I won’t have to give me mum three rings let her know i’m home safe. Do you do that? Give her three rings and after the second she picks it up. What’s the point of that?”
The comedian is famously close to his mum, who can often be seen in the audience of his shows. He used to call her landline three times, now he just texts ‘three rings’.

2. Labelling your videos
“Me dad used to have a night of labelling, he used to get those stickers that come free with a blank video and get on floor. Number 12… number 13. Who’s had all the threes off here? I’m going to have to use a ‘B’ turn it upside down and bite the p*****g end off. Can’t have nothing in this house.”
Long before Sky+, streaming and even DVDs, came VHS. Played on a machine so big ‘they had to take the front window out’.
Talking of videos…
3. Don’t talk – the video recorder will pick it up
“I remember going round me nan’s at Christmas… ‘What you all sitting in the kitchen for? I thought you were taping Wizard of Oz’ ‘We are – we didn’t want to talk ’cause it’ll come out on video.”
Tap to play
4. Crimewatch – not as good as it used to be
“Crimewatch video-fits, if you saw someone who looked like one of those video-fits they’d stick in your mind. They’re freaks. They look like Shrek. Reconstructions are bad on Crimewatch, cause sometimes they don’t use actors they use actual staff who were involved in the robbery – they get them back in, as if they’re not traumatised enough… That’s just cruel that, putting them back through that. They have a right boring manager narrating it too – get on with it son, you’re up against Bad Girls here.”
The daytime version still exists, but classic Crimewatch – famous for it’s chilling reconstructions and catchphrase ‘don’t have nightmares, do sleep well’ – was brutally axed back in 2017.
5. Change at the chippy
“I went to the chippy on Friday night. Chippy tea, it’s the law. I give her a £20 note this woman. Now as she puts it into the till she turns to the other woman serving behind the counter and hear me out, as she’s putting it in, she shouts ‘£20 going in Marion, £20 going in love’. I said ‘Ey, mouth! There’s two drug dealers eyeing me up for me change here. He’s got £17 change that lad.’ Going to be lying on the pavement in a minute, covered in peas, winded.”
£17 change from a £20! Peter would have a shock popping to the chippy in 2022.

6. Payphones
“First thing you do when you arrive on holiday, phone home. Go out, find a payphone, how do you work it? Put that card in, is it 0044 for England? ‘Hello? Hi mum it’s me y’alright? What time is it there? 8 o’clock? It’s 10 o’clock at night here!”
Thanks to mobiles, payphone use has plummeted they’re now almost obsolete. Instead, they’ve been turned into mini-libraries and even cocktail bars.
While we’re on the subject of phones…
7. Landlines
“I love it when phone rings at home about 10.30 at night and you’re both like ‘who the hell is this? who’s this ringing at this time?’ Pick it up you’ll never know! ‘It’s rung off, rung off. 1-4-7-1 – the caller withheld their number’. Friend of mine had a phone call one afternoon, had all her family round: ‘hello, hello I can’t hear you love. just turn that TV down I can’t hear… just hang on. What did you say?’ Took the phone outside – it were a dirty phone call! And she’d dragged him round the house.”

8. Booking holidays on Teletext
“Oh no man, you want to get on Teletext. Get a good deal on Teletext. Get on 200, yellow button if you’ve got fast text. But you go on and it’s like page 86 of 400 pages of holidays and you’re just mesmerised by it all. ‘Here’s one, here’s a good one – self-catering, Malta, a fortnight. Where’s hold on here? Hold, hold where’s hold on here?! What you making it bigger for? I haven’t got cataracts. Oh it’s gone off now!’ Three hours later… ‘Coming on again now. Page 85, page 86, nearly there. Oh it’s gone now, GONE. Forget about it.”
Teletext through the TV ceased to exist back in 2012. No longer do we need to sift through pages and pages of holidays then panic when we can’t find the hold button – just get online. Book it, pack it…. you know the rest.
9. Playing out in your slippers
“If you didn’t go abroad then you had your holidays in England. Glorious, six-weeks holidays at home playing out ’til 11 o’clock at night. Have a water fight with an empty bottle of fairy liquid on the front street, squirting suds at other kids. Playing out in your slippers. How fast could you run in your slippers when you were a kid? Three quid slippers off market. They should give slippers out to athletes.”
Kids playing out until 11pm wearing slippers and wielding just a bottle of Fairy – how times change…
10. Taping top 40
“Did you ever do that on Sundays? Tape the charts? Try and stop it before he speaks? That’s a skill, that. My sister would do her own dance routines in her room in front of her mirror. ‘What’s she doing up there? Dancing?! I’ll come up there and give you something to dance about’.”
Once a week, on a Sunday evening, you’d eagerly await number one. Now the chart is based on physical sales, paid-for downloads and streaming – and all you need to do is search online for the list.
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