Bieber Takes Over from Justin Bieber, Funny Or Die, Funny Or Die

(Justin Bieber, “Baby” plays)
Justin Bieber: Hey, what’s up internet?
Guess who?
Justin Bieber: It’s Justin Bieber, and
I’ve taken over Funny or Die.
Justin Bieber: It’s mine. I bought it and
now, it’s Bieber or Die.
Justin Bieber: Anything that’s not
Bieber, dies!
(rock music plays)
Justin Bieber: I’m a star. I do
what stars do.
Justin Bieber: I ride on yachts.
I autograph lady lumps,
Justin Bieber: and I pay people
to slap them.
Justin Bieber: Sometimes I don’t feel like
walking, so I make enormous people
Justin Bieber: carry me around.
Justin Bieber: Let’s go get a
lollipop.
(rock music plays)
Justin Bieber: I talk loudly
in libraries, and
Justin Bieber: I swim directly
after I eat.
Justin Bieber: I don’t care.
Justin Bieber: I once ran into a club.
they said, “Sir, you’re not
Justin Bieber: old enough.”
Justin Bieber: So I bought the club and I
made it a Chuck E. Cheese’s.
Justin Bieber: Now who’s old
enough bitch.
Justin Bieber: So remember, this is Bieber’s world.
You’re just living in it.
Justin Bieber: Bieber or Die.
(rock music play)